


Determined To Carry On

by audhds



Series: Determined To Carry On [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Saves the Day, BAMF Merlin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Merlin, Hurt/Comfort, young Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-11 06:50:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10457988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audhds/pseuds/audhds
Summary: Merlin is a young, seven year old boy who managed to escape a devastating raid in his home village, Ealdor. He and his mother are the only survivors. Grievously injured and hurt, will Merlin be able to get himself and Hunith to the safety of Camelot? And more importantly, will Gaius, Gwen and Arthur be able to help them in time?





	1. Chapter 1

The young boy stumbled forward over a tree root and let out a small cry of agony. The movement had jolted the wounds on his chest and thigh and he barely managed to stay upright. Every inch of his body ached. Every muscle was screaming at him to give in and to drop to the floor. But he couldn't. He was so close now, the entrance to Camelot was in sight, the entrance to a safe haven where everything would be ok and all his troubles would all go away. They would be able to help him and his mum and they would be safe.

The stone walls which were growing slowly closer would offer them both protection from the horrors of the outside world and Merlin knew that if he gave up and collapsed now he would never get up again. He took a few more labored steps forward, whimpering in agony as he felt fresh blood trickling from his thigh; he must have reopened the cut, again. He tightened his grip around his mother's limp body in sheer determination, his arms were wrapped under his mother's and his hands clasped over her chest. He forced himself to drag her forward and bit down hard on his lip in concentration. Just a little bit further.

Merlin's injured leg gave way, sending him crashing to the floor with his mother on top of him, still unmoving. Merlin tried to move but his mother's weight was restricting his breathing and his head was beginning to spin more ferociously than before.

"Mummy-Mummy-please? You - need - to – get - up. I – can't – breathe. You – are – hurting – me!"

Every word was punctuated with a hitching breath as Merlin began to plead with his mother. Why wouldn't she just wake up and move? He struggled to wriggle out from under her weight and eventually managed to roll her off, black spots appearing in front of him as his vision blurred. Merlin felt a wave of nausea rush over him and he began to gag and retch, although nothing but some bile and blood came up. Once again Merlin whimpered, tears streaming down his face as exhaustion crashed over him with renewed vigor. He knew that he had to get up and move but everything hurt so much. His chest was on fire and every breath rattled his entire frame. He was so tired and the ground was soft beneath him. No, I won’t sleep. Just a bit further. Get up Merlin! There was a frail voice in his head urging him to move, but the boy was so weak. Merlin hadn't eaten in four days, giving all the food to his mother and they hadn't passed a source of water in at least 7 hours. His throat was burning and there was blood running down his cheek from a deep gash in his forehead. The boy was certain that the wound was infected, it felt hot and was throbbing relentlessly but he hadn't plucked up the courage to examine it after his first attempt.

Four days ago when the village had been attacked he had found a safe place to stop so that he could check on his mother's wound as well as his own. He had dealt with her first and then raised a tentative hand to his injured head to check how bad the damage was. The wound was very bad, Merlin nearly blacked out from the pain, toppling over in a heap and screaming in agony when he felt his finger enter the deep wound as he probed it. He had writhed on the ground with no one to comfort him, his mother had been unconscious and they were all alone in the woodland, the only survivors from Ealdor. He just wanted his mum to wake up and pull him into her chest. He wanted her to sing his favourite lullaby from when he was smaller and he wished above all else that she would tell him that everything was all right. But she didn't, she just lay there, still as a stone. Merlin eventually sat up, wrapped his neckerchief around his head in a feeble attempt to staunch the flow of blood. His head and vision were spinning as he crawled over to his mother's limp figure, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing in her scent, being careful not to knock her side.

Merlin had tried his best to look after his mother after she had been stabbed by one of the knights and he had made a bandage out of his spare pair of trousers but she had lost a lot of blood, as well as the battle for consciousness. That was the moment when Merlin had been closest to giving up, his hand was covered in blood from his head and his thigh hurt badly and numerous wounds in his chest had begun to ooze puss and blood again. But he had forced himself to move, just as he would now. He had bandaged up his leg with the last part of his trousers which he had ripped up for his mother. There was nothing to wrap around his chest so he simply had forced himself to move through the pain. After gathering his thoughts together Merlin leant against a nearby tree and pulled himself up, momentarily leaning against its trunk for support thinking about what had happened. He didn't really understand what had gone on back at Ealdor, there had been a lot of screaming, children crying and men yelling for the women to hide and take cover. Mothers had been rushing around trying to find their children and fathers were kissing their family goodbye, certain that this would be the last time they would be together.

And it was.

All of the families had been killed, one by one the men dropped, their makeshift weapons dropping to the ground along with their broken bodies. They had put up a good fight, but there were too many knights and they had not stood a chance, not really. The knights had begun to chase the women and children and Merlin was dragged away by his frantic mother. All he could really remember was flashes of green trees, black capes and red. Red blood, red eyes, red flames. Everything was noise and fear, crashing over him like a wave and scooping him up in a whirlpool of pain and frenzied thoughts. Merlin and his mother had carried on running when everything got ten times worse. His memory had gone fuzzy at this point, all he knew was that he had found himself on the ground with a deep wound in his head and he wasn't sure how it had got there. A man in chainmail and a black cape was standing over him with a sword and Merlin had screwed his eyes tightly shut in fear.

One of the knights had clearly caught up and when Merlin opened his eyes again, blinking away the tears of pain he was met with a sight that would haunt him for years. The knight had moved over to his mother, who was desperately screaming something. Merlin couldn't be sure but he thought she was saying his name and something about running. But he couldn't run. He couldn't move. He was frozen and just watched in horror when he saw the knight raise his sword and plunged it into his mother's side. It seemed to happen in slow motion, his mother had crumpled to the ground with a shriek of pain and suddenly Merlin's senses awoke. He could smell blood and smoke and could taste something metallic in his blood. He coughed and spat a red substance on the ground, not allowing himself to consider what it was. Next thing Merlin knew he was running towards the knight, plunging into him and kicking and screaming for all he was worth. Of course the knight was far more powerful than Merlin and simply lifted the boy up and pressed him against a tree, bringing down a dagger, delighting in the boy's screams and cries of agony as the blade ripped his chest and thigh apart. That was when the strangest thing happened, Merlin had felt a tingling sensation rise within his body and all of a sudden his eyes stung and the man wasn't hurting him anymore. The knight had been knocked back by some invisible force and Merlin didn't know what to do, so he had picked up his mother and half carried her deeper into the forest.

* * *

 

Merlin's mind snapped back to the present and with one last push of effort, which cost him the rest of his strength, he managed to pick up his mother again and drag her to the forest edge, through the gate and into the courtyard of Camelot's castle.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur looked up startled at the sight before him. One moment he had been chatting to Gaius about a new cream for bruising which he had sampled, and the next he was faced with a truly haunting image. There were two figures moving towards him, the larger figure being carried by a short man. He immediately moved towards the strange couple, beckoning to Percival and Gwen who had been standing nearby watching the drama unfold. Arthur and the knights were the first to reach the struggling pair and Arthur realised that it really was a young child carrying a woman, who he assumed was the boy's mother. 

The child was incredibly thin and pale, his eyes wide with fear and red with tears. That however, was not what disturbed Arthur the most, no, the thing that made his heart clench was the amount of wounds covering the tiny figure. The child couldn't be more than seven and yet the injuries he was bearing would cause enough pain to floor a full grown knight. It seemed as though the boy had feebly attempted to wrap a makeshift bandage around his head, but the material was soaked through with blood. He also had a pronounced limp and was holding his right leg up; his shirt was in tatters, revealing a mess of bloody skin. The boy's thin face was gaunt, hollow and covered in a mixture of sweat and blood. Arthur could see that his whole body was trembling from exhaustion, exertion or fright, or maybe even a combination of all three. Pity immediately swallowed Arthur and despite his position in society he hurried further forward to help. The woman also looked to be in a bad state and she was clearly unconscious, Percival therefore moved and scooped her up out of the boy's arms.

Merlin allowed his mother to be taken out of his arms, he would not have been able to carry her for much longer and now that he had stopped moving his legs seemed to be failing him. He swayed forwards slightly, barely keeping his balance. His head was spinning and he leant over coughing up more of the metallic tasting liquid, releasing a small groan as he heard his blood splatter on the floor. He felt a familiar swooping sensation as his legs buckled beneath him and he waited for his frame to hit the stone ground and to hear a dull thud. It never came. When Merlin cautiously opened his eyes to see what had happened he realised that he was hovering in the air, his feet not touching the ground. He blinked, tears were impairing his view and all he could make out was the outline of a concerned man with blonde hair.

Arthur had lunged forward to catch the small boy when he noted how he was swaying alarmingly and just reached him in time. Gwen had also jumped forward when she saw the boy was about to collapse but Arthur beat her to it, and now looked rather uncertain about what to do with the child. Arthur quickly tightened his grip around the boy, feeling skinny arms wrap instinctively around his neck and feeling certain that if he put the boy down he would just collapse again. Arthur said the first things that came to mind, the usual hollow words about everything being alright and it all being safe now. Of course as the prince he knew that nothing was ever that simple, but he wanted to comfort the child in whatever way possible. It didn't look as though he was doing a job though; he could feel the child's tears trickle onto his neck and hear his muffled sobs and gasps for breath. The boy's skin was on fire yet he appeared to be shivering and Arthur realised that he had a raging fever.

Arthur stroked the limp boy's back soothingly as he talked and began to swiftly walk towards Gaius' chambers. Merlin had buried his head in the stranger's neck, exhaustion kicking in and shock beginning to take hold of his body. He couldn't prevent the tears streaming from his eyes, or stop his entire body from trembling. His head felt so heavy and he was so cold, he just wanted the pain to stop. Merlin felt the last of his energy sap away and he fell asleep in the man's arms, no longer caring about what happened to him.

They hadn't even got halfway across the courtyard before Arthur felt the child's grip around his neck slacken and he wondered worriedly whether he had died, although the child's chest was heaving irregularly disproving that theory. Perceval followed his prince with the woman in hand, she had not stirred at all in his arms and it was only the faint rise and fall of her chest that convinced him that she was still alive. Like the boy, her skin also had a sheen of feverish sweat and there was a large bloodstain on the side of her dress.

Gaius had finally caught up with the group, his arthritic joints prevented him from running around like he used to, and he almost blanched at the sight before him. He immediately began to assess the damage and quickly followed as Percival and Arthur carried the mother and son to his chambers. By the looks of things they were only just hanging on to life and he didn't know whether or not he would be able to save them. Gwen had also managed to catch up with two buckets of water in hand. She had also hurried ahead, realising that help would be needed, so she asked a couple of servants to fetch food, drinking water and spare blankets.

Arthur kicked open the door to Gaius' chambers and was immediately followed by Gwen and Percival. Percival gently rested the woman on the first bed, Gwen sat down the buckets of water and Arthur walked over to the second bed.

"Come on lad, down you get." There was no response from the child and Arthur felt worry sweep over him again, had they reached Camelot too late?

"My Lord, the boy is asleep, here let me." Gwen moved over to Arthur and carefully unwrapped the child's skinny interlocked fingers, lifting his arms so that they were no longer wrapped around Arthur. Arthur nodded his thanks blushing slightly for some reason and gently laid the boy down, resting his head on the thin pillow and wondering what had happened to them. Gaius bustled in and immediately set everyone to work. Percival had left to inform the guards about what had happened so that they would be extra vigilant and Gwen had been asked to help clean the patients up. Arthur of course was not asked to do anything, he was the prince after all, but he decided to get his hands dirty anyway. There was something about the child that was so innocent and delicate, part of him was certain that if there was a heavy gust of wind the boy would splinter into a million little pieces and be scattered away. Gaius had set about gathering potions and Gwen was now removing the woman's dress. Arthur averted his eyes until she had been half-covered in a thin blanket and he watched as Gaius began to un-bandage her wound. It soon became apparent that she had been stabbed and that the wound was serious. Gaius let out a hiss when he saw the deep cut and sighed sadly. He would do what he could, but in this case he realised that all he could really do was hope.

"Is it bad?" Arthur couldn't hold back the question; the boy was still fast asleep so he wouldn't hear the answer.

"I am afraid so my Lord, I do not think she has long left in this world, but I will do my utmost to heal her." Gaius then turned his attention back to the woman, hurriedly bathing her skin with a bucket of water and applying creams. Arthur watched in fascination as the old man worked, completely shut off from the world and totally focused on pouring strange liquids down the woman's throat.

Gwen had also began to bustle around and tend to the boy. Arthur held up his limp figure as Gwen pulled of his clothes, leaving the child just in his pants. Arthur let out a small gasp, the boy's body was emaciated, his ribs seemed to be attempting to poke out of his body and his chest was littered with deep cuts made by the blade of a sword. These wounds were not intended to kill instantly, no they were meant to cause as much pain as possible. Who would do this to a child? Arthur scowled and began to assess the damage to the boy's thigh. This to was covered in similarly extensive cuts and bruises, some of which appeared to be infected. The rest of the boy's milk white skin was covered in less serious cuts and bruises, his knees were both black from falling over and his bare feet were crusted over with dried blood and dirt.

"Gaius, what should we do?" Gaius looked over and grimaced, the boy was also badly wounded.

"If you wouldn't mind sire, I would be very grateful if you could begin to bathe his wounds."

"Of course." Arthur and Gwen set to work, Arthur picking up a cloth and wiping the blood and puss from the boy's leg and then chest. Gwen cleaned his forehead as best as she could, but they were both forced to stop when the boy awoke with a start.

Merlin woke up in agony, the pain in his head, leg and chest seemed to have intensified and he let out a howl of pain. He opened his eyes and saw that he was lying in bed with a woman and the man from earlier hovering over him. Merlin couldn't help but cry; he didn't know where he was and wanted his mum. Everything hurt! He tried to pull away but found himself barely able to move. Instead he rolled his head into what he assumed was a pillow and curled up in an attempt to make them take pity and leave him alone.   
"Shh, don't worry. You are safe now, this is Gaius the physician, he is just looking after the woman who was with you but will make your pain go away in a minute."

Merlin couldn't understand a word that was being spoken to him, his brain was fuzzy and the pain was too much. He hoped that the darkness would take over him again.

"Just hold still lad, we are just cleaning you up." Arthur noted that the boy had closed his eyes and scrunched his face up in an attempt to avoid the pain and he felt awful, but knew that he had to carry on cleaning the wounds despite how much it must be hurting the boy. He picked up the wet cloth again and began to wipe at one of the nastier, infected cuts, feeling the child squirm under his touch and wriggle away. Merlin fisted the sheets and tried to escape the man's hands. His chest was on fire and the pain was getting worse by the second. Gwen sighed and gently bought the cloth back to the boys head, jumping back immediately when he screamed.

Merlin couldn't help it, the pain was just too much and he allowed more agonised screams to be torn from his throat. The hands did stop momentarily but soon returned, rubbing his flesh and causing his wounds to throb unbearably. Soon his screams turned to inhuman whimpers and he writhed in the sheets in a feeble attempt to escape his fate.

Gaius sighed, he had done all he could for the woman's side and he could no longer put-off looking after the boy. He rushed to his shelf and pulled out numerous vials of thick liquids which he poured down the lad's throat. Merlin coughed and spluttered, wondering whether he was being poisoned. Whatever was in his mouth tasted awful and he felt himself gagging.

"Try to keep it down my boy; it will make you feel better." The voice of the old man leaning over him was fading with each word and Merlin felt a strange numb feeling come over him. He didn't even notice when he fell asleep again.

Arthur looked down at the child who was now twitching slightly in his sleep. Each breath seemed to be a struggle and the boy's chest was heaving with the effort of pumping blood around his feeble body.

"Gaius, do you think they will be ok?"

"I cannot say. The boy is clearly a fighter; he must be stronger than he looks if he managed to carry his mother here."

"Do you know where they are from?"

"Ealdor by the looks of the woman's necklace. It was made by the local blacksmith there if I am not mistaken. It is his most popular pattern."

"Ealdor? But that is a two day ride away, or a good four day walk."

"I know. By the looks of things the lad hasn't eaten for about four days, it looks as if he gave all the food to his mother, assuming that is who she is." Arthur gave a small nod. 

"Notify me as soon as he wakes up. I want to talk to him."

"Sire, I am not sure if he will be capable of talking. It is clear that he has undergone great hardship."

"I know, but if there is any threat posed to Camelot or its citizens I must be prepared."

"I understand." Gaius gave a small nod and watched Arthur leave the room. The servants had returned with supplies and Gaius quickly wrapped the blankets around the trembling boy who was still fast asleep. There was no point in waking either of his patients; they could wait a little longer before eating. Gaius knew that even with his potions they would both be in a lot of pain so the longer they slept the better. Gaius then continued working on the boy's wounds stitching up the deepest cuts, glad that a combination of the potion and exhaustion had knocked him out so thoroughly. The wound in his head was by far the worst and Gaius decided that it was a miracle that the boy was still alive. He then bandaged the child's entire torso, head and thigh, checked on the unconscious woman and settled into his favourite chair. He would try to get just a few hours of sleep but wanted to stay in the same room as his patients in case they woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

When Merlin awoke two days later he let out a muffled moan and bit into his arm to prevent himself from shouting out. He had cried too much recently and was determined to be strong for his mother. He struggled to sit up and propped himself up on his weak arms, his face set with concentration. He was in a large room with numerous shelves and bookcases around him, and his mother was lying on the bed next to him.

"Mummy? Mummy are you alright?" Merlin tried to keep the desperation out of his voice but knew that he was failing miserably. Fear spread through his body when his mother failed to respond and he attempted to get out of bed and climb over to her.

Gaius and Gwen had heard the boy moan and begin to speak; they had been sitting at a desk preparing some new bandages for their patients but immediately dropped what they were doing. Gaius usually worked on his own but Gwen couldn't help but feel sorry for the child and wanted to help in anyway possible. Besides, Morgana had given her a day off and she had nothing else to do apart from clean. Gaius bustled over with a couple of potions that he prepared earlier and immediately set to work. The boy's fever had finally broken but he was still weak and he had only just woken up from a deep, medicine induced sleep. The food that had been bought over the other day had been given to a neighbouring family but luckily Gwen had bought a new stew with her just in case. She quickly ran into the square and asked a servant to notify the prince that the boy had awoken and then hurried back in to find Gaius talking to the child.

"Hello my boy, how are you feeling?" Gaius sat down in the chair next to the bed and pushed the boy back down with a gentle but firm hand. He appeared to be attempting to get up, but Gaius would not allow that, the boy needed rest. Leaning over slightly Gaius checked the child's temperature and pulse, by the feel of things he seemed to be on the mend but Gaius instructed the child to take the potions just in case. Merlin just opened his mouth and swallowed, too tired to argue. He didn't know what to say in response to the question. His head still felt heavy and his wounds were throbbing, however the pain had definitely dulled. His biggest issue was his stomach, which seemed to be clenched tight and was churning. Merlin decided to ignore the question, he didn't know if he could trust these strangers, so instead he asked a question of his own.

"Are you going to hurt us?" Gaius looked slightly startled by the question but immediately shook his head, Gwen sat on the boy's bed and took his skinny hand in her own.

"Don't worry, you are safe now and we are helping you get better." Merlin nodded at this information and felt his eyes begin to close again, his eyelids felt heavy and sleep was calling him again.

"Hello, can you hear me? Try to stay awake a bit longer. What is your name?" Gaius saw that the boy was loosing the battle against the darkness but there were a few questions he had to ask first. Merlin's response was so quiet that Gaius barely heard it and he had to lean in slightly.

"M-Merlin." Merlin yawned mid-sentence and rolled over slightly trying to get away from the noise and light.

"Merlin, do you think you can stay awake a bit longer."

"Hurts. Tired."

"I know my boy, but you need some food! Can you tell me your mother's name, is that her?" As soon as Merlin heard food being mentioned he opened his eyes again.

"Hmm" Merlin let out a small moan. "She's my mummy, Hunith." He answered the question, hoping that if he co-operated the man would help him up and feed him. He was desperate for food but found himself unable to sit up a second time, his arms were not listening to him.

At that moment the blonde man entered the chamber, he had a kind face with deep blue eyes and Merlin saw that he was wearing the uniform of a knight. Gwen curtsied and Gaius dipped his head respectfully as the blonde man walked over.

"Ah, my lord, Merlin has just woken up." Gaius quickly informed Arthur of the situation under his breath and watched as the future king walked over to the bed. Gwen had hurried away to grab the stew and was hovering uncertainly, not wanting to interrupt.

"Morning sleepyhead. I am Arthur, the prince of Camelot. I have come to ask you a few questions, how are you?" Merlin gazed at the man in awe. The prince! He felt dizzy and once again attempted to sit up; surely it was improper to lie down in front of the prince. Once again however, Merlin's body failed to respond, he didn't know what to say and besides, his mouth was so dry that he didn't think he would be able to make a sound.

Arthur looked down at the young boy who looked like a rabbit caught in a trap, he guessed that his chainmail made him look menacing. In an attempt to gain the boy's trust he gently wrapped a hand under his back, helping him into a sitting position and placing a pillow underneath him for support. He then picked up the goblet of water on a nearby table and pressed it to the boy's lips. He needed answers, even if it meant swallowing his pride and helping someone else for once. Merlin gratefully closed his eyes and drank deeply, practically inhaling the liquid and spluttering when he took too much at once. Arthur patted the boy's back and refilled the goblet a further three times from a bucket until the boy seemed to have had his fill.

"I know that you are tired, but could you tell me what happened?" Merlin had been dreading this and shook his head, screwing his eyes tightly shut in a poor attempt to force the images away. This movement made him feel sick and his stomach lurched again, causing him to double over and curl in on himself.

"Sire, Merlin hasn't had a chance to eat yet." Gaius had seen exactly what had happened, sensing the boy's distress and couldn't quite help but resent the blonde for not allowing the boy to rest and gain his strength.

"Oh, right. Of course." Arthur looked slightly irritated, whether at the situation or for his own lack of compassion Gaius couldn't tell. Gwen stepped forward with the stew in order to feed the boy, but to her surprise Arthur took it from her hands and scooped up a spoonful of the thick gravy and offered it to Merlin, trying to make up for his latter lack of compassion and understanding. Merlin opened his mouth immediately, forgetting his fear and swallowed quickly. The stew tasted amazing and he re-opened his mouth eagerly, hoping for more. Arthur obliged, only stopping when Merlin let out a small moan and promptly threw up the stew into the now empty water bucket. Merlin whimpered slightly, he was so hungry and just wanted to eat but his body clearly disagreed with this idea.

"It's alright. Don't worry. There is more stew. Do you think you can try again?" Gaius went over to the boy and took the stew from Arthur, setting it on the table and rubbing the boy's back rhythmically until he stopped coughing. "There we go. Just eat a little slower this time." Merlin opened his mouth and this time managed to eat the entire bowl. "Well done." Gaius ruffled Merlin's hair affectionately and laid him back down.

"Um." Arthur looked unsure of himself, not really wanting to upset the boy or his recovery. "Is that your mother?" Merlin just nodded in response with his eyes half closed. "Did you come from Ealdor?" Another nod. "Did you walk all the way here?" Nod. "Can you tell me what happened?" This time Merlin shook his head, pulled his arms up over his eyes and curled up. He didn't want to remember, he just wanted to sleep. "Ok, I understand that you don't want to talk now, but I just need to ask you a few more things, then you can go back to sleep." A reluctant nod. "Was your village attacked?" Merlin didn't respond immediately but rubbed away the tears that had begun to fall down his face.

"Th-there were bad men." It was the first time Arthur had heard the child speak and the voice was worryingly frail. Mid-sentence his throat seemed to give up and his voice cracked feebly.

"Do you know who they were?" Merlin shook his head and forced himself to answer fully, "There were bad men who came to the village. They had horses. They killed everyone. They had fire and our houses were broken. The bad men wore black and metal. They chased us and hurt mummy. We ran away." Merlin babbled quickly wanting to get it all over and done with, tears were streaming down his face and his nose was running. He turned as far away from the others as possible and buried his face in the pillow sobbing weakly as flashbacks took control of his brain.

_There was a woman lying on the floor with wide staring eyes looking straight at him. There was a child on the floor bleeding. A man was stabbed straight through the heart. The worst man of all was holding him to a tree and grinning at him. There was a blurry figure stabbing his mother._

Merlin let out a small shriek and began to toss weakly in his bed, futilely attempting to fight his mind.

"Gaius what is happening?" Arthur was alarmed, the boy had begun to shake violently, his shoulders were heaving and he was letting out cries of pure terror.

"He appears to be having some kind of breakdown." Gaius collected a calming draft and a vial of Morgana's sleeping potion and moved as fast as he possibly could over to Merlin. "Sire, can you sit him up for me?" Arthur immediately obliged and turned away at the distressing sight. The boy's face was a mask of terror and Gaius was pouring vials down his throat, causing the boy to gag before slumping into the bed.

Arthur watched, relieved as the child's facial muscles eased slightly, observing his prominent cheekbones sticking out and glistening with tears. "It sounds like the knights were from Cenred's kingdom, Ealdor is on the boundary between our two kingdoms and we recently signed a treaty that gave my father ownership. This is an act of war and if the village was attacked Camelot may to be in danger. I shall send out scouts immediately to check for survivors." With that Arthur turned, leaving Gwen and Gaius to re-dress Hunith and Merlin's wounds and to wonder whether Camelot was indeed in danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think <3


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin was lying in bed fiddling with a loose string in his blanket, watching Gaius wearily as the man began to wipe his mother's forehead. Hunith's fever had not yet broken and she was getting weaker by the hour. Although Gaius didn't have the heart to say it, he knew that she would be dead within the next couple of days. When he noticed the boy's piercing eyes focusing on his back he turned around and raised an eyebrow at the boy's serious expression. No child should wear a look like that!

"Good morning my boy, are you feeling any better?" Merlin nodded and sat up to demonstrate this. "Good, now then, I guess you are hungry, do you want some food?" Merlin gave an uncertain smile and nodded his head.

"Yes please sir."

"You can call me Gaius, hang on a moment and I will get you something." Gaius turned away and walked to his table, returning to Merlin's bedside with a large bread roll, offering it to the boy. Merlin let out a small gasp, surely all that couldn't be for him.

"Is that for me?"

"Yes son, eat up, you need your strength." Merlin did not need telling twice and took the roll in both hands, sinking his teeth into the thick crust and humming in delight. Gaius watched the boy eat, he seemed to be half starved and Gaius resolved to feed him up a bit. 

If he couldn't save the boy's mother he would be damned if he let the child suffer more than necessary. 

When Merlin finished he smiled and began to take a closer look at everything in the room, noticing the multi-coloured vials, strange equipment and books. Gaius smiled at the boy's curiosity and picked out an old children's book from a nearby shelf, hopefully that would keep the boy interested for a while.

"Merlin, I have a book you can read, but first do you think you can tell me how you managed to get away?" Merlin shook his head slowly.

"I don't know what happened. The bad man was hurting mummy and then he hurt me a lot and I tried to get away but he was too big. My chest and head and leg hurt and I fell over at some point. Then he hurt mummy again so I hit him. Then he seemed to be knocked over by something and I felt funny and then we just ran away. That is all I remember." Merlin looked miserable and Gaius decided that was enough questioning for now.

"Ok, thank you Merlin, you are being very brave." Merlin smiled at the praise and accepted the children's book, which was mainly full of pictures showing dragons and a knight having a battle. He was soon completely absorbed by the story, he never had any books at home as they were too expensive and he loved looking at the drawings. Gaius sat down heavily at his desk and began to make Morgana's sleeping draft, he had used the last vial for Merlin the previous night and Morgana was down to her last two vials. Gaius didn't notice when the boy got up and walked silently over to him until he could feel the child's warm breath against his neck.

"My, you gave me a fright. How did you walk over so quietly?" Merlin looked puzzled; he hadn't been trying to be quiet but was curious about what the man was doing so had walked over. He had spent the last ten minutes watching him cutting up plants as he had read the book twice and was getting bored.

"What are you doing?"

"I am making some medicine for the King's ward."

"Can I help?"

"Um…"

"Please, I will do whatever you ask."

"Ok then, do you think you can cut up these leaves for me?"

"Yes." Merlin sank into the seat next to Gaius and began to cut up the leaves with outstanding precision, each piece was finely cut and they were all the same size by the time the boy was done.

"Thank you my boy. Why don't you mash up these berries for me?" Merlin began to mash up the berries in a bowl with a pestle and handed them back proudly.

"This is fun. I want to be clever and make potions like you when I am older." Gaius smiled at this, the boy was so young and innocent and Gaius allowed him to add more ingredients. He then helped the boy heat the paste and bottle up the liquid, wincing when the boy spilt some on the table.

"Sorry." Merlin looked nervous as if waiting to be scolded, a look of fear flashing over his face.

"Don't worry, why don't we take this over to Morgana? Do you think you can walk to the castle?" Gaius saw the boy's fear and immediately tried to calm him. Merlin looked back at his mother uncertainly. "Don't worry lad, she will be alright on her own for a little while." Merlin nodded and changed into some spare clothes donated by next door, whose son had grown out of them. He then put on a pair of shoes that Gaius offered him. They had been selling cheap on the market and Gwen had bought them for the child in her spare time, noticing that he didn't have any shoes of his own. Gaius placed the vials in a basket and took one of Merlin's bony hands, guiding him around the castle. The boy was still walking with a pronounced limp and had to stop to catch his breath frequently but Gaius didn't mind, now that he was so old he knew that patience was a virtue. Merlin had stumbled over the steps and nearly fell, only to be caught by Sir Gwaine who just happened to be passing. Merlin looked up excited.

"Are you a knight?"

"Yes I am."

"Really? Have you ever fought a dragon?" Gwaine laughed at the boy's question and shook his head, "There are no dragons here." Merlin looked slightly disappointed.

"But in the book I was reading there was a knight and he killed a dragon." The knight smiled and told Merlin about the time he had killed a savage wolf, exaggerating to make the story more interesting. In truth he had been rather drunk at the time and had killed the wolf more than luck by judgement, hitting it over the head with a bottle of mead, but the boy seemed amazed and satisfied by the tale. Gaius gave a small cough and took the boy's hand again, leading him away from the knight before he could ask any more questions. Gaius shot the knight an apologetic look but Gwaine just smiled and headed off to training humming softly to himself and planning his next trip to the tavern. There was a rather busty blonde waitress who he had his eye on!

By the time they reached Morgana's chambers Merlin was panting, his limp had become worse and he had a hand over his chest. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to bring him. His head was spinning slightly and he felt nausea roll over him, he only just managed to stop himself from throwing up again.

"Here we are." Gaius knocked on the door, entering when he heard Morgana call.

Merlin followed Gaius through the door and smiled when he saw Gwen and gave her a small hug. Gwen bent down and scooped him up, seeing that he was holding his leg up in pain. At least the shoes she had bought appeared to fit him well.

"Hello Merlin, how are you?"

"We made medicine and I read a book about a knight and a dragon, and then I saw a real life knight. He said that he hadn't seen a dragon but had killed a wolf, so I guess that makes up for it." Gwen grinned and looked over at Morgana, who was smiling softly; Arthur and Gwen had told her about the small child and the events at Ealdor. Merlin seemed so small in Gwen's arms and she wondered how anyone could hurt someone so young and innocent.

"Hello Merlin, I'm Morgana." Morgana bent her knees so she was at Merlin's eye-level and spoke to him in a gentle soothing voice.

"Hello." Merlin looked slightly shy when he found himself being placed back onto the floor. He therefore moved over to Gaius and leant in as close as he could, half hiding himself between the man's robes.

"I hear that you helped with my medicine."

"Yes Miss."

"Well thank you very much. Tell you what; I have some books that you might like to read. You can have them as you helped me so much." Morgana walked elegantly over to an old chest of belongings and pulled out some children's stories and handed them over to the boy, who smiled gratefully with wide eyes.

"We should head back, Merlin here needs some rest and I want to take another look at his mother."

Morgana nodded smiling, watching the boy turn and hobble out of the door, clutching the books tightly to his chest as if they were pieces of treasure.

"He is rather sweet isn't he Gwen."

"Yes my lady, I can't believe anyone would hurt him so."

"I can. Cenred is a cruel man, his knights are ruthless savages." With that Morgana turned back to the book she had been reading and Gwen began to hang up Morgana's new dress. Both of their minds were elsewhere for the rest of that day.

Merlin and Gaius got halfway down the corridor when Gwaine practically ran into them. "Gaius, thank goodness. Sir Percival sustained a deep injury to his arm, would you be able to help him."

"Of course. Would you take young Merlin down, he can not walk very fast at the moment." The knight nodded and scooped up the child, hurrying through the castle. Percival had already been taken to the Gaius's chambers and was lying on the bed which Merlin had previously occupied.

"Merlin, why don't you go in there and read your books. There is a spare bed for you to sleep in." Merlin nodded and when placed on the floor hurried into the spare room, feeling slightly nauseous at the sight of blood on the injured knight's arm. He kicked off his shoes and settled into the bed immediately becoming lost in the pictures despite the pain in his leg, which had sprung up with renewed vigour. When Merlin was bored he slipped out of bed, the injured knight had left so Merlin sat down next to his mother, who appeared to have just woken.

"Mummy? Mummy are you ok?"

"Merlin. Are you alright? What happened? Where are we? How did we get here?" Hunith's voice was faint but Merlin was too relieved by her alertness to notice.

"We were hurt mummy, but I am ok now and so are you. We're in Camelot, I carried you."

"You did well my son. I am very proud of you." Merlin smiled, he had made his mother happy. Soon his smiled disappeared as her eyes closed.

"Mummy, don't go back to sleep."

"I love you so much Merlin. Be brave for me." Merlin nodded, uncertain about why his mother was saying these things but agreed, watching her chest rise and fall heavily as she fell asleep again.

Merlin looked over at Gaius who told him to go to sleep and he soon dozed off. Gaius' heart was heavy as ever, the boy looked so pleased to see his mother awake, but she had taken a bad turn and her fever had intensified. It was just another miracle that she had woken up, even if for just a few minutes.

Merlin was clearly tired after all the exertion and didn't even wake when Gaius re-bandaged his head and leg gently, hoping against hope that Hunith would pull through.


	5. Chapter 5

Gaius woke up the next morning and could immediately sense that something was wrong. He hurried into the main chamber and saw with horror that Hunith was ghostly pale, her chest was not rising and falling. It became clear that during the night she had passed on, her lips were a pale shade of blue, her eyes wide, staring straight ahead but unable to focus, no longer seeing the chambers. Gaius refused to accept the truth, the boy needed his mother, he had experienced enough trauma for someone so young.

He bent over her limp body and began to pump her chest desperately, pinching her nose tight and breathing his life into her. There was no response but Gaius just became more determined, he pressed down so hard that he heard one of her ribs snap but carried on unperturbed. She would not die, he wouldn't let her. Gaius continued, lost in a frenzy of panic and desperation, not noticing when the door opened behind him.

"Gaius, Gaius are you alright? What has happened?" Gwen had entered the door with some fresh rolls and could see Gaius' chest heaving with exertion. She edged forward, saw the pale body and realised that Merlin's mother had passed on. Gaius felt a gentle hand being rested on his shoulder.

"Gaius, she has gone. She is in a better place now." Gaius meekly shook his head. All these years of training and practising medicine and he was unable to save her, there was a bitter taste in his mouth. Gwen was slightly shocked by Gaius' reaction; he saw death more often than anyone in Camelot, dealt with it almost every day.

"It was my fault." Gaius' voice was low and hoarse, full of heartbreak for the child.

"No it was not. Don't you ever think that. You did everything you could."

"It wasn't enough."

"You cannot save everyone. You managed to bring Merlin back from the brink, which was a miracle in itself. It was not your fault!" Gaius froze in horror at the mention of Merlin. How was he going to tell the boy that his mother, his only family, the only other survivor from Ealdor, was dead?

"He does not know yet. I need to tell him. Oh God, what do I say?"

"He will find out sooner or later, we need to tell him. I will come with you."

"Tell me what?" Gaius and Gwen whipped around, Gwen automatically standing in front of Hunith's body, trying to shelter him from some of the pain.

"Come on my boy, sit down over here." Gaius stepped forward and guided the boy into a wooden seat with his back to his mother. Merlin was confused.

"What is wrong Gaius? Have I done something bad?"

"No, not at all. Oh my boy, I am so very sorry, your mother died last night. There wasn't anything that I can do. I am sorry Merlin." Gaius knew that saying "died" was blunt, but didn't want to confuse the boy by saying had fallen asleep, he had made that mistake many years ago and would never make it again. Merlin just blinked, confused. His mother wasn't dead, she couldn't be. He shook his head.

"No she's not."

"Merlin…"

"NO. Mummy would not leave me. She promised she would always be there for me. My mummy never lies." Merlin jumped up from his chair and before Gwen or Gaius could stop him he climbed into the bed with his mother and began to shake her. Her skin was lighter than normal and Merlin didn't understand why she felt so cold. He pulled off his coat and laid it across her, tucking her in gently and calling her name.

"Mummy! Wake up. You are not dead. You are not. Wake up. Mummy?" Merlin grabbed his mother's body, shaking her gently at first and then more violently, her head lolling from side to side.

"Merlin. She is gone. You can't bring her back." Merlin stopped shaking his mother and instead shook his head furiously. His world was crumbling around him and he found himself unable to move. He just stared at her for a while, all noise had stopped and he found himself wondering if he had gone deaf. His left arm hurt and he realised that he had been subconsciously scratching the layers of skin away. There were small drops of blood dripping along his hand and onto his mother's nightdress. Merlin flinched at the sight, remembering the blood from her stab wound and began to wipe it away as best as he could.

Everything was strangely numb and Merlin wondered whether all of this was just a bad dream. He lay down next to his mother and buried his head in her chest, waiting for her reassuring heartbeat to make itself apparent. It didn't. Gaius didn't know what to do; the boy seemed to have shut down completely. He hadn't cried. He wasn't showing any emotion at the moment, his face was completely blank. Merlin sat over his mother and ignoring the intense pain, he drew his legs up to his chest and began to rock backwards and forwards. Gwen edged forward and reached out to place a hand on the child's shoulder but he flinched away, letting out a small hiss. Gwen took this as a warning and pulled away, looking at Gaius who looked more lost than she had ever seen him.

Gaius decided that it would be best if Merlin could spend some time with his mother, reasoning that it may help him through the denial. He cautiously retreated, pulling Gwen with him and settling down into a chair.

"We had better leave him for a bit, let him come to terms with what has happened." Gaius explained himself to Gwen in hushed terms, glancing over at Merlin who appeared to be catatonic. Gaius picked up a book on herbs, opened it and stared at the pages, reading the same sentence repeatedly without realising or taking in a single word. Gwen just watched the boy, concern had caused her brows to furrow and she was nibbling her lip absentmindedly.

After what felt like days, but had only been a few hours, Gaius walked over to Merlin.

"Come on my boy. It is time to let go, come back to bed." Merlin didn't seem to have heard Gaius' hushed voice, but continued to stare blankly at his mother. He only looked away from her as he felt himself being lifted up. As if a switch had been pressed, Merlin immediately sprang to life, kicking Gaius and struggling with all his might. Gaius ignored the feet and hands lashing out at him, the boy was so weak and skinny that they barely registered through Gaius' robes. He desperately tried to comfort the boy, hugging him tighter against his own body and humming a tune that his mother used to use to calm him down as a child. It didn't seem to be working and Gaius wondered whether the boy even heard him but carried on regardless, it made him fell slightly better if nothing else. After a few minutes of struggling Merlin fell limp in Gaius' arms. He didn't care any more and allowed Gaius to carry him away from his mother.

Merlin didn't understand his emotions. He was unbearably sad about his mother and there was a dull aching sensation in his chest, yet at the same time he felt anger bubbling through his veins. Gaius had let her die. His mother had deserted him, left him alone. Merlin's anger intensified at this thought. How could she leave him? His mother had always promised to be there for him, yet when he needed her most she was not. But most of all Merlin was angry with himself. He should have gotten her to Camelot sooner. He should have tried harder. He should not have been so weak. He should have stopped the bad man from hurting her in the first place. Merlin couldn't cry. Everything hurt so much and all he wanted was to die, there was no point in living anymore. He had failed.

"It was my fault." Merlin's blunt words cut through Gaius like a knife and he realised that the boy felt responsible for what had happened. There was no emotion in the child's voice; he was simply stating a fact - or what he thought was a fact anyway. Gaius had seen this before and knew that the boy was not reacting well. Most cried when they heard about the death of a loved one, but he had also seen those who shut themselves away from the world and they often fared worse. He would do all he could to ensure the latter did not happen to Merlin.

"No my boy, don't you ever think that." Merlin didn't respond but closed his eyes, no longer able to move or struggle.

Gwen felt tears streaming down her cheeks but did not make a move to wipe them away, the scene in front of her was heartbreaking and she wished that there was something she could do to help. She walked over to the door to the room where Merlin was staying and watched as Gaius placed the unresisting child on the bed. Gaius then tucked the child in and stroked his hair gently. Merlin leant in to the touch, allowing Gaius to cup his cheek and run fingers through his messy brown hair. Gwen also entered the room, sat in a chair and took Merlin's hand in her own, interlocking their fingers and singing him an old lullaby.

Merlin finally felt the numbness disappear and be replaced by pain. A single tear slid from his eye, which was soon followed by countless more. At first the boy's sobs were harsh and rough, tearing through his body and causing his chest and shoulder's to heave. However once the boy no longer had the energy to cry so desperately he simply buried his head in Gaius' lap and whimpered softly, hiccupping and letting out hitching breaths until his stomach hurt. Gaius was rubbing his back rhythmically and when Merlin pulled away he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the boy's eyes and nose. Merlin flinched away slightly but allowed the man to mop him up before collapsing against the lumpy mattress and burying his face in his arms.

Gwen got up and left the room, deciding that there was nothing more that she could do. Gaius watched her leave and decided to follow, bending down and ruffling Merlin's hair slightly. Merlin did not respond but lay staring blankly at the stone wall in front of him. He wrapped his arms around his chest as if he was trying to keep himself together...stop himself from falling apart. Gaius walked out of the room and sank into a chair, burying his face in his hands in despair. Gwen offered him a few more words of comfort before letting him know that she would inform Arthur of Hunith's passing. Gaius just nodded, stood up and entered his own chambers, unable to face anything else that day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter, I hope that you enjoy it!

Merlin spent the entire night in the same position, staring at the wall but not really seeing it. He still couldn't believe that his mother was really gone and half expected to wake up and find that this had all been one huge nightmare - that he would wake up on the floor back in Ealdor, wrapped in his mother's arms where he belongs. The other half of him had accepted that his mother was gone, and Merlin was finding it harder and harder to convince himself that things would go back to normal. Nothing would ever be the same again without his mummy. Merlin had no idea what would happen to him, his wounds were almost healed and he didn't know where he would go when Gaius kicked him out.   
Depressing thoughts continued to circulate in the boy's head and he didn't even notice when Gaius walked in the next morning, he had spent the whole night awake and couldn't find it within himself to care or feel tired. Gaius sighed sadly when he saw that the boy had not moved or slept. His eyes were red from crying and his eyelids were drooping with exhaustion. The child's face was pale and Gaius couldn't help but be worried. He edged forward, sat on the side of Merlin's bed and sat him up.

"Merlin I need to talk to you. I want to let you know what will happen now, you are welcome to stay here and be my ward. I would enjoy some company but understand if you want me to find you anther family to stay with." Merlin nodded at this information.

"I want to stay here." Merlin spoke the five simple words and Gaius smiled softly, his heart warming, but the sensation soon wore off when he attempted to feed the child.

Merlin allowed himself to be pulled into a sitting position without resisting but closed his mouth tight shut when Gaius attempted to feed him some stew. He wasn't hungry and felt incredibly sick, he was sure that if he ate he would just throw up.

"Please try to eat something Merlin, you need to eat." Merlin shook his head, closed his eyes and rolled into a fetal position with his back to the old man, ignoring all of his kind words and encouragement. He just wanted to be left alone. Gaius sighed and gave up; the boy was not responding and obviously didn't feel up to eating. Not wanting to force the issue he decided to retreat and allow the boy to grieve in peace. He would try again later.

The same routine continued for the next few days. Merlin had completely withdrawn into himself, oblivious to his surroundings. Gaius, Gwen and even Morgana had all tried to talk to the child only to receive a blank look. Morgana had spent a whole hour hugging the boy gently as he cried and even read him one of the books she had given him, he did not listen to a word or even notice when she closed the book and left. He hadn't slept in four days and only moved to go to the toilet. Merlin was still refusing food and only drinking a minimal amount of water. Gaius was filled with overwhelming sadness as he watched the boy isolate himself and waste away in front of his eyes, wishing that there was more that he could do. He was only just resisting force-feeding the boy, knowing it would only cause him more distress but knew that if the child didn't eat soon he would die. Merlin appeared to have completely lost the will to live.

After re-organising his collection of dried herbs for the fifth time that day Gaius heard a knock at his chamber doors. He called out for the person to enter and was surprised to see Arthur. The prince looked slightly uncomfortable but spoke in a determined voice.

"I am here to see Merlin. I hear that he is not coping very well and thought I would be able to help." Gaius could not see how Arthur would be able to help at all but it would be rude to refuse the future king so he nodded and beckoned Arthur to follow him into Merlin's room.

Arthur saw that Merlin was lying wide awake, crying softly into his pillow and facing the door. He walked over in a more confident fashion than he felt and he settled onto the bed.

"Hello Merlin. I am very sorry for your loss." Once again Merlin ignored the person speaking to him, not even realising that it was the prince himself.

"Merlin. Can you sit up?" Merlin ignored the comment and let out a surprised yelp when he was scooped up and rested against someone's chest. He looked up blearily and realised that said someone was the prince. He feebly attempted to sit up on his own but was too tired to hold himself up so slumped back against the man.

"I hear that you haven't been eating properly." Merlin shook his head and nestled further into the man crying even harder. Arthur began to pat the child's back in what he hoped was a comforting way and ran a hand through his hair.

"Shall I tell you something?" Merlin gave a small nod, still hiding his face.

"You know Sir Gwaine?" Merlin gave a small nod and Arthur was glad when he realised he was making some progress.

"He told you about the wolf didn't he?"

"Y-yes." Merlin's voice was faint and cracked as he spoke for the first time in days.

"Would you like to be big and brave like him? Yeah? Well, to be a knight you have to be big and strong. And to be big and strong you have to eat lots. That way you have the energy to fight bad people. So what do you say, do you think you can manage something to eat?" Arthur frowned at the horrified expression on the child's face.

"It was my fault!" Merlin began to sob harder into Arthur's shoulder, barely able to breath.

"No it wasn't. What makes you say that?"

"I-I didn't e-eat much at home. If I ate more-I-I could have-sto-stopped the bad man from hu-hurting her. If I was stronger I cou-could have protected her and then she-she- wouldn't have-" Merlin couldn't bring himself to say the word died and felt despair washing over him. It really was his fault. If he had eaten more he could have saved his mummy.

"No. No that isn't what I meant at all!" Arthur mentally kicked himself for being so stupid.

"No matter how much you ate you couldn't have done any more. You did an amazing job getting your mum here and you were very, very brave. Even braver than most knights." Merlin looked up through tear-filled eyes uncertainly.

"Really?"

"Really. But you do need to eat something. It will make you feel better." Merlin nodded again shyly and sat himself up, collapsing when his arms were not strong enough to support him. Arthur saw the boy fall and pulled him back up, propping the kid up on a pillow and grabbing a bowl of luke-warm soup. Merlin's head had lolled to the side, he no longer had the energy to hold it up and he felt so tired.

"Stay with me Merlin." Arthur spooned up some of the liquid and held it to the boy's lips.

"What is it?"

"Chicken soup, it is one of my favourites, I am sure you will like it." Merlin's eyes widened.

"Real chicken?" Merlin had only eaten meat once in his life back at Ealdor; it was far too expensive for his mother to buy.

"Yes, real chicken." Arthur smiled at the look of excitement in the boy's eyes and gently entered the spoon into his mouth. Merlin swallowed immediately and soon finished the entire bowl. Gaius, who had been standing in the doorway watching smiled to himself. Arthur usually came across as arrogant but now Gaius knew that it was all a façade, he really was a caring man and one day he would make a great king.

"I almost forgot," Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden toy. It was a dragon that he had played with as a boy but he decided that Merlin's need was greater. The carving was intricate and the dragon's scales were beautifully precise. Part of Arthur didn't want to let go of his favourite childhood toy but he knew he was doing the right thing.

"This was mine when I was little. I always used to play with it when I felt lonely. My mummy died when I was very little and I was very upset as well. I blamed myself for a while and I didn't eat. I kept having nightmares and felt really lonely. But my dad bought this for me to keep me company and I used to tell it how I was feeling. He made me feel better. You should have it now." Merlin took the toy dragon and smiled sleepily, giving Arthur a tight hug and relaxing when it was reciprocated. Arthur eventually got up and walked towards the door.

"See you soon Merlin." Merlin who had been playing with the dragon, guiding it so it swooped around his body and onto his pillow looked up and nodded seriously.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome." Arthur carefully shut the door behind him before turning to Gaius.

"Oh Arthur I can never thank you enough." Gaius was almost crying with happiness. Arthur had succeeded where he had failed and the boy had finally eaten something.

"It was nothing. I remember how I felt when I found out about how my mother died, it was the least I could do. Anyway, I should head back. I am waiting for some scouts to return from Ealdor with news on Cenred's position. They should be back soon and I have a lot to do. Let me know if there is anything either of you need." Gaius nodded and smiled as Arthur left the chambers. He crept back over to Merlin's room and opened the door quietly. Despite it just being four in the afternoon the child was fast asleep with his thumb in his mouth, a peaceful expression pasted on his face and the toy dragon in his free hand. Gaius walked over and tucked his ward in, kissing him softly on the forehead and placing the toy dragon on the bedside table so that the boy would not roll on top of it in the night.

"Sleep well, my poor boy. Things will look better in the morning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! I live for your feedback <3 xxx


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin slept throughout the whole night and through most of the morning without stirring. Gaius had settled down in the chair next to his bed and was watching the child's chest rise softly. It was wonderful to see him look so relaxed and at peace, even if for only a while. At around 11 in the morning Merlin snuffled and rolled over, slowly peeling his eyes open. He saw that Gaius was sitting by his bed and he smiled weakly. This was the best he had felt in over a week and the pain in his chest and legs had gone, only the persistent headache remained. He sat up and crossed his legs, pulling the blanket tightly around himself and yawning.

"Morning my boy. I see that you slept well."

"Yes sir, thank you."

"Gaius, remember?"

"Oh, sorry Gaius." Merlin smiled sweetly and Gaius couldn't resist the urge to ruffle his already messy mop of hair.

"Does your hair ever lie flat?"

"No, Mummy always said that…" Merlin cut himself of and looked down at his pale hands and tried to fight off the tears in his eyes. His throat had begun to burn and he sniffed.

"I am sorry Merlin, I shouldn't have said that." Merlin just shook his head sadly, rubbed his eyes and swung his legs out of bed.

"I have drawn you a bath and there are some new clothes in the wardrobe over there for you." Merlin nodded and walked over the bath, avoiding Gaius' concerned look so that the man wouldn't see his reddened eyes. Gaius turned and left, allowing the boy some peace and only returning when the child called him. Gaius saw that the boy was standing awkwardly in the centre of the room wearing his new clothes. Gaius had bought him a blue shirt, a red neckerchief, a brown jacket and a pair of black trousers. The shirt and jacket were baggy and the jacket was second hand and slightly scruffy but Merlin was grinning as if he had been decked out in silk.

"Thank you!"

"Do you like them?"

"Oh yes."

"I am glad. How about some breakfast?" Merlin nodded, his stomach grumbling loudly at the suggestion. He had soon wolfed down the entire plate with the toy dragon sitting on the table next to him. Once he had finished he scooped up the toy and began to play with it, tearing around Gaius' chambers and releasing some of his pent up energy. Gaius couldn't help but sigh when he saw the boy tearing around; something would surely be broken soon.

5 minutes later there was a loud crashing noise and a thud.   
Gaius groaned and headed over to find a very dazed looking Merlin sitting amongst a pile of shattered glass. Merlin stared up at Gaius and began to cry, his face crumpling. Gaius sighed once again and immediately replaced his look of annoyance with one of concern. He walked forward and scooped the boy up into his arms, feeling him shaking violently.

"S-s-sorry. I-I didn't mean it." Gaius just pulled the boy tighter to his chest, ignoring his protesting back and bouncing the child up and down gently in a comforting motion. Merlin rested his head on Gaius' shoulder and the old man felt tears soaking through his shirt.

"Don't worry. Hush now, calm down. It doesn't matter. Come on my boy, don't cry." Merlin sniffled and wriggled out of Gaius' grasp, hanging his head down low in shame.

"Come on, let's clean you up." Merlin looked at his hands and realised that he was covered in a strange green paste and that he had deep lacerations in his hand. Now that he thought about it an intense stinging pain shot through his nerves and he let out a small yelp. Gaius gently sat the boy down and pulled out a pair of tweezers from his desk. He carefully began to ease the shards of glass out of the child's hand and stitched up the deepest cuts, stopping when Merlin hissed in pain and rubbing in a cool lotion afterwards. He then bandaged the child's left hand, there were three particularly deep cuts on his palm and Gaius didn't want them to get infected. Merlin once again looked miserable, so Gaius placed some cushions on the floor and picked up one of Morgana's books.

"Come over here." Merlin hurried over and settled down next to the old man, leaning against his chest and listening to the story that Gaius read to him. Gaius talked animatedly, putting on voices for each character and Merlin was soon completely focused on the story. He gasped at all of the appropriate places and his eyes widened at the main climax. Gaius smiled to himself and when he finally stopped Merlin appeared to have cheered up. Gaius stood up and grabbed a scroll of parchment and a quill, as well as a couple more books.

"Here you are, I have some important work to do, do you think this will keep you occupied for a while?" Merlin nodded and accepted the items with his good hand and sank into the cushions. He started off on the books reading about beautiful princesses, evil kings and a brave prince. Once he had finished the two books he turned his attention to the parchment, drawing a crow which he could see out of the window. He captured all of the feathers and the curve of the beak but was soon bored with nothing left to do. His mother had always stated that he was unable to sit still; he constantly swayed on his feet and had to be doing something with his hands.

"Gaius, can I help you again?" Gaius wondered how he would get out of Merlin's help, the ingredients he was using were very rare and he didn't want anything else to be spilt or broken.

"Um, why don't you have a game of queek?" Merlin nodded obediently, catching Gaius' drift but not commenting.

"Ok." Gaius picked up a chequered cloth, laid it out and handed Merlin a cup of stones. Merlin was soon tossing the stones, predicting whether they would land on a black or a white square and was well and truly ensconced in the game, with his tongue sticking out in concentration.

"Merlin, I need to go and get some herbs, I will be back by lunch."

"Can I come?"

"No Merlin, it is too dangerous and a very long walk, you need to rest your leg. I'll tell you what; keep count of how many times you guess right and we can play together as soon as I get back. I will bring you something nice to eat from the market."

"Please don't go!"

"I have to Merlin, you will barely realise that I am gone." With that Gaius was gone with a sweep of robes and the sound of the door shutting. Merlin tried to get back into the game but found himself unable to concentrate. He stood up and began to pace around the chambers, settled down and drew a beetle, played queek, read a book, sat down and daydreamed about a dragon, played with his wooden toy dragon and then began to pace again. Surely Gaius should be back by now? It was way beyond lunch and Merlin's stomach was grumbling. He waited for another three-quarters of an hour before he began to really panic. He could feel his throat constricting and his eyes were filling with tears again. Maybe something had happened. Maybe Gaius didn't want him anymore so had just left him. Maybe he would be left alone here forever and everyone would forget that he was in here alone. He was incredibly lonely and found himself wishing for his mother to come and give him a hug, or for Will to play hide-and-seek with him. Neither of these things happened and Merlin went into the corner of the room, curled up into a ball and began to sob.

Eventually pulling himself together Merlin stood up, picked up his toy dragon and cautiously opened the door, walking out into the main square. He remembered the walk to Morgana's chambers and wondered whether he would be able to find her or Gwen. They were both nice to him and might look after him for a while. He stumbled a couple of times and felt tears streaming down his face. Merlin ignored the stares coming from the guards and eventually found himself looking at two large guards wearing red outside her door.

"Who are you?" The guards tensed up, uncertain what to do. A small boy who was crying heavily was standing in front of them looking terrified and in a lot of pain.

"M-Merlin."

"Merlin, what have you done to your leg? Are you lost? Where is your Mummy? Shouldn't you be at home?" Merlin began to cry harder and hid his face in his arms.

"My Mummy is dead. I was on my own and I was scared so I wanted to find Morgana because she is nice and she gave me some books and I was lonely." Words gushed out of Merlin's mouth and the guard frowned, he was about to ask Merlin where his house was and escort him back when the door behind him opened. Morgana had heard crying outside her door and as soon as she saw Merlin she shot the guards an angry look.

"Come here Merlin, are you ok. What's wrong?" Merlin snuffled into her dress and wrapped his bony arms around her.

"Why did you not let him in?"

"My Lady, we didn't know who he was, he could have…"

"What? You think a seven year old boy could have hurt me or posed a threat? You are dismissed." Morgana had a formidable look in her eyes which would have terrified Merlin if he had seen it, but when she faced him she had adopted a kind and tender expression.

"Come on, let's go inside. You can tell me what has happened." She settled Merlin onto the bed and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Gaius said he was getting h-herbs and that he would be back at lunch. But he didn't come back and he left me on my own and I was scared and bored. I had no-one to play with. I want my Mummy back and Will. " Merlin began to sob harder than ever and Gwen, who had been folding Morgana's clothes came over rubbed his back gently as Morgana hugged him tight.

"Don't worry. Gaius probably just took his eye off the time. What happened to your hand?"

"I-I cut it when I knocked something over. Maybe Gaius is still angry at me for breaking his glass and that is why he left me."

"Gaius will be back, I am sure he is not at all angry with you. Why don't we play a game in the meantime? What games do you like?"

"Me and Will used to play hide and seek." Merlin looked up hopefully.

"Hide and seek it is then. Why don't you two hide first?" Gwen hurried over to Morgana's changing screen and Merlin hid behind the curtain with one of his shoes poking out. Morgana made a huge scene of trying to find them both, checking under the bed, in the wardrobe, deliberately walking straight past Merlin twice and finally over to her screen where she pulled out Gwen with a wink.

"Where do you think Merlin is? Did you see where he went? I can't find him anywhere. I hope he didn't get lost." Merlin giggled softly and Morgana turned around.

"I think I heard him over there. Did you Gwen?"

"Yes, lets check by the bookcase." Once again they made a scene of looking, making loud exclamations of disappointment when they 'couldn't' find the boy. Finally they pulled back the curtains and Merlin burst out laughing.

"You couldn't find me! I was waiting for aaaaaaages! I win that round." The game carried on for half an hour, each time Gwen and Morgana allowed Merlin to win and chose easy hiding places so that he could find them easily. Merlin finally seemed to have relaxed and was giggling happily, albeit holding his leg up and wincing whenever he put any weight on it. Morgana noticed this and saw that some blood had soaked through his trousers.

"Merlin, when did your leg start to hurt again?"

"When I walked up the stairs I tripped and hit it, but I wanted to find you."

"Ok, Gwen, will you take him back to Gaius'? He can patch you up again." Merlin nodded and followed Gwen trying to hide the pain in his face. When they came in they found Gaius half-way up a ladder reaching for a book. It contained a tracking spell, and although he hadn't used magic in ages he was terrified about where the boy was and wanted to find him as quickly as possible.

The old man jumped violently when he heard the door open, loosing his balance and falling towards the floor. However the impact never came, instead he landed on…his bed? Gaius looked around confused, trying to catch his breath and saw Merlin with one hand outstretched, his eyes fading from gold to blue.

"Merlin?" Before Gaius could say anything else the boy had turned and fled the room. Merlin was horrified, he had used magic. That was the only explanation. He had felt the strange feeling from the forest come over him again when he saw Gaius fall and all of a sudden the bed had moved underneath the old man, saving his life.

Merlin had no idea how he had done it, it had been instinct, but he had. He had ruined everything. Magic was banned in Camelot. He was evil, a warlock. He was dangerous. They would burn him at the stake, and he deserved it. That was why bad things happened to him, it was because he was a bad person. Merlin fled the room, running as fast as he could into the forest, ignoring Gwen and Gaius' calls. He could never come back, he would be killed. Merlin didn't want to burn. He had nowhere to go. He was alone again.


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin continued to sprint into the forest, tripping over countless tree roots and gaining scratches across his cheeks and arms from thorned branches, brambles and bushes. He ignored the stinging pain and continued running, changing direction occasionally and heading deeper and deeper into the forest. He still had no idea where he was going and was completely lost. Tears streamed down his face and his head was screaming in protest, the stitches appeared to have come out and the world was beginning to spin as his headache reached a whole new level. He pitched forward into a tree, nausea overcoming him. Once Merlin had emptied his stomach on the ground he stood up, brushed the mud off of his jacket and looked around.

He had managed to find a clearing and decided that he would stay here; he did not have the energy to run any further so collapsed against a rock, curled up into a ball and used his new jacket as a blanket. Sleep failed to come to the young boy, he was filled with visions of the knight being thrown away from him and wondered how he had been stupid enough not to notice that he had used magic.  
Now that he came to think about it, strange things often happened to him. Take that time when a tree branch fell on a man who was chasing him and Will. Merlin began to remember numerous unexplainable events that had occurred when he was scared or frightened; he could have seriously hurt someone. He was a monster. Merlin had now run out of tears so just lay wide awake, curled up into a tiny ball. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he did not hear voices or the cracking of branches behind him.

Arthur, Gwaine and Percival had been patrolling the borders of Camelot when they heard a strange whimpering noise.

"What is that?" Arthur's head whipped around, his senses heightened from years of training as a knight. Percival only shrugged and let out a small grunt, he was a man of few words.

"Sounds like me when I haven't been to the tavern for over a day." Gwaine immediately joked but deep down he had a slightly uneasy feeling.

"Do you think it is a wounded animal?" Arthur ignored Gwaine's feeble attempt at humour, dismounted his horse and made his way towards the sound – which seemed to be coming from a nearby clearing.

"Probably, we should put it out of its misery." Gwaine followed after Arthur; hand tight around the hilt of his sword.

"Oh! Merlin?" The sight that met Arthur was completely baffling. The small child who had been staying in Ealdor was curled up crying, clutching his head with both hands, which were covered in blood.

"Merlin what has happened? Are you hurt?" Merlin jumped at the voice, which was now far too close for comfort. He heaved himself up, head spinning and lurched away. How had they found him? Had they been following him the whole time? Oh God they are going to burn me. Merlin felt strong hands wrap around his waist and let out a scream of terror, kicking and crying in a futile attempt to escape. Percival looked uncertain about what to do now that he had caught the boy, so held him at arms length and looked at Arthur, a look which was clearly a plea for help.

"Merlin, calm down. You are safe. We are not going to hurt you. Stop struggling." Merlin ignored Arthur's words of comfort and bit down hard on Percival's forearm, causing the knight to drop him in surprise. Merlin hit the ground hard and let out another cry of pain; he had landed on his bad leg, which had only just stopped bleeding after his run in with the stairs. His head was throbbing and Merlin got onto all fours and threw up more bile, the only thing left inside him. His throat felt raw and his mouth was so dry that swallowing just hurt him more.

"Merlin, what is wrong? Answer me." Arthur knelt down next to the child, trying to ignore the scent of vomit. Merlin pulled away, managing only a few steps before he fell down. This time he didn't try to get up again. What was the point? He lay perfectly still and felt a hand on his back. Merlin rolled over slightly, groaning as his vision swayed again and his head pounded. Arthur took a step back; he was clearly doing more harm than good. Gwaine took a few steps forward, determined to be of some help. He walked forward, placing his sword deliberately on the floor so that Merlin saw. The knight then sat down cross legged next to Merlin and gave him a comforting smile.

"Hello Merlin! Remember me?" Gwaine kept his voice light and cheerful, grinning lopsidedly. Merlin nodded.

"Can you tell me what is wrong?"

"Leave me alone."

"I can't do that Merlin, what if a wolf comes along? We need to get you out of here and back to the safety of Camelot's walls!" Merlin looked around fearfully; he didn't want to be left alone in the forest with a wolf. He sat up, swallowing when yet more bile began to burn his throat.

"Come now, what is wrong?"

"I am bad. I did a bad thing."

"Merlin, you're not bad. Let's go back to Gaius, your head looks sore and I'm sure you are hungry."

"I can't go back."

"Yes you can, it is fine. Everything will be ok."

"Gaius won't want me anymore."

"What makes you say that?"

"I did a bad thing." Merlin sniffed miserably and Gwaine felt his heart go out to the boy.

"Merlin, do you trust me?" Merlin nodded uncertainly. Gwaine was a knight after all which meant he was brave and loyal. Besides they hadn't tried to kill him yet, maybe they didn't know that he was evil.

"Well, let me tell you something. You are not bad; you are just scared and lost. Gaius will not be angry with you, no matter what you have done. Can you get up?" Merlin wiped his eyes and stood up; maybe things would be ok if he went back. Gwaine smiled at this turn of events, pulled out a bandage from his pocket and carefully wrapped it around the child's head. Merlin fisted the ground in pain when he felt the pressure of the bandage and his senses screamed at him to run. When the bandage was secure he stood up and realised that he was clinging on to a large stick. He was about to drop it when Arthur bent down and picked up another stick. The child was still weary and he wanted to make him relax and feel safe.

"Swordfight?" Arthur asked gently, hoping to cheer the child up a bit. Merlin smiled softly and brandished his 'sword,' jabbing at Arthur and laughing when the future king pretended to be mortally wounded and collapsed to the ground moaning and writhing on the floor. Arthur then sprung up and tickled the boy until he was giggling.

"See, we aren't going to hurt you. Shall we go?" Merlin nodded and accepted Arthur's hand, which dwarfed his own skinny one. He clung tightly to Arthur's cloak and allowed himself to be lifted onto Arthur's horse. Arthur had wrapped a protective arm around his waist and Merlin realised that he was safe. Arthur wouldn't hurt him. His head was agony, each bump of the horse sent a surge of pain through his head and he wondered whether his head was going to split open. Everything was going fuzzy and tiredness slipped over him again, he had lost a lot of blood from his leg, the cuts on his face stung and he was still not fully recovered from his trip from Ealdor. Merlin attempted to ask Arthur to stop for a bit but his mouth didn't seem to want to work, instead he felt blackness swallow him and he lurched forwards. Arthur felt the child's grip on his cloak slacken and was horrified when the child nearly fell off the horse. He tightened his grip and came to a stop.

"Percival, can you take Merlin down for me?" Percival got off his own horse and pulled Merlin's limp figure down. Arthur then hopped down and knelt next to the boy, who had been lain on the ground. He quickly checked for a pulse and felt relief spread over him, the boy had only fainted, thank goodness. He got back on his horse and Percival handed him the child again. The knights re-doubled their speed and were back at Camelot's gates in no time. They had to get Merlin to Gaius quickly, his leg and head needed to be tended to, Gaius was famous for his headache remedies and would be able to get Merlin back into shape fairly quickly.

Percival plucked the scrawny boy from the horse and carried him towards Gaius' chambers, Arthur catching up almost immediately and Gwaine following behind. They burst through the door to find Gaius sitting at his table with his head in his hands and Gwen nervously playing with her hair.

"Oh Gaius, they found Merlin!" Gwen jumped up when she saw the boy, concern flooding her senses, was he hurt? Gaius looked up and let out what could only be described as a cross between a laugh of relief and a sob. He motioned for the boy to be laid down in his room and scooped up some of his supplies. He and Gwen had both come to the agreement that they would not tell anyone about Merlin's magic. He meant no harm and had saved Gaius' life after all. With the right environment, love and care there was no reason for him to use his magic in a threatening manner.

"Thank goodness! How can I ever thank you? Where was he? What happened?" Percival looked down at his hands, far too many questions had been asked at once for him to cope with. Gwaine looked as if he was about to speak but Arthur interrupted him; if Gwaine got going they would be there for hours.

"We found Merlin in the forest crying. He seemed to think that he had done something bad."

"Merlin hasn't been bad, he knocked over a vial by accident and ran away, I have been worried sick!" He went over to the boy and saw with a grimace that the cuts on his head and thigh had re-opened, and that he had acquired numerous scratches.

Percival and Gwaine left, leaving just Gaius, Gwen and Arthur behind with Merlin. Gwen and Arthur both rubbed a soothing lotion into the child's leg and scratches whilst Gaius began to tend to his head. He re-did a few of the stitches but decided that the cuts on his leg were shallow enough to be left alone.   
Once they had finished Merlin stirred and looked up confused. He had no idea how he had gotten back, only remembering Arthur finding him in the forest.

"Hello Merlin. You shouldn't have run away, it wasn't your fault about knocking over the vial." Gaius spoke in a pointed fashion and Merlin understood.

"I didn't mean to, it just happened! I don't know how." Gaius saw the double meaning in the seemingly innocent comment and nodded kindly.

"Come on, can I have a hug and we can forget it ever happened." Merlin nodded and snuggled into Gaius, breathing in his now familiar scent.

"Are you angry with me?"

"No my boy, of course not."

"Ok." Merlin pulled away and gently hugged Gwen, who took his hand and ran her hands through his hair affectionately.

Arthur cleared his throat, about to speak but was taken by surprise when Merlin misinterpreted this and hugged him tightly. He patted the boy's back awkwardly and allowed the child to lean against him heavily. Gaius had left the room and came back with an apple and a bread roll. Merlin's eyes lit up and he accepted the food gratefully, he hadn't eaten since breakfast and the sun was beginning to set. When he was finished he sat came into the main chambers with Arthur, Gwen and Gaius.

"Can we play a game?"

"Of course, what do you want to play?"

"Can we play queek again, it is more fun with more than one person and I had to play on my own yesterday!" The adults all nodded, glad that Merlin was back to his perky self, and they spent the next hour playing. Arthur it seemed had no luck at all, Gaius guessed right almost every time and Merlin and Gwen were about even. Merlin's eyes began to sag and the others all saw that he was about to doze off. They played quietly for another five minutes until Merlin fell fast asleep, leaning against Arthur for support and breathing deeply.

The prince gently picked the boy up and took him into his room, where he uncertainly tucked the child in. Gaius and Gwen were at the doorway and exchanged a surprised look when Arthur kissed the child gently on the forehead. Who knew that he could be so compassionate? He really did rather like the child, he was incredibly sweet and his smile was so bright it seemed to light up the surrounding area. Arthur and Gwen then excused themselves and Gaius, exhausted from all the worrying retired to his own chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to let me know what you think, comments are love <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kudos and comments, they are much appreciated :D

_Merlin was running through the forest. The trees where moving, grabbing at him with their branches, ripping his clothes to shreds, the holes in their bark contorted into gaping faces, sap dripping from their gnarled fang-like twigs._

_Merlin continued to sprint faster than ever, everything was spinning and the scene kept changing, he ran past his home village which was set alight, he could hear screaming but every time he tried to help the village grew further away and the screams intensified._

_Once again the scene changed and Merlin found himself running towards the edge of a cliff, there was a group of knights chasing him. There was Arthur, Gwaine and Percival adorned in black capes instead of their usual crimson ones. Leading the group was the bad man, snarling at Merlin and brandishing a sword. "You have nowhere to go now. Nobody wants you anymore. You are a freak, a monster, a sorcerer! You deserve to die." The knight spoke in a rough voice and the deep tones of Arthur, Gwaine and Percival soon joined in. "You are worthless, couldn't even save your own mother. You will burn. BURN!"_

_Merlin sprinted forwards and was now hovering over the cliff ledge, and there was a wooden ladder. He began to climb down the ladder and the cliff-face changed. Instead of rocks there were thousands of books on a giant bookcase like Gaius'. Merlin continued to climb down the ladder, books falling on top of him as if there was a landslide. One hit him square in the face and he let go, falling, falling, falling._

_He hit the ground with a thud and saw five burly knights coming towards him with rope. Next thing Merlin knew he was tied to a pyre surrounded by the townsfolk of Camelot. They were all chanting and snarling at him, eyes wide and piercing like those of a predator. The pyre was set alight and all Merlin knew was pain, he was inhaling smoke and all he could see was the cackling figures of Gaius, Gwaine, Percival, Morgana, Gwen and Arthur, pointing gleefully at his burning body._

_Everything went black._

Merlin awoke with a scream and sat up in his bed. He struggled wildly against the blanket he was tangled up in and fell out onto the floor. Writhing, he was finally able to escape the confines of his bedding and he stood up trembling, pressing himself against the wall. Just a dream. Just a dream. Nobody knows, it was just a dream. Merlin was shaking so violently that he couldn't catch his breath; sweat was pouring down his face and began to sob helplessly. Gaius heard the commotion and hurried into Merlin's room, where he saw the boy curled up in a ball on the floor whimpering and clutching his head.

"Merlin? Merlin, can you hear me" Merlin looked up, eyes wide and flung his arms around the old man, who could feel him shaking. Gaius rubbed the child's sopping wet back and hair, shushing him gently. He could see that the boy had soiled the bed and his pyjamas so picked the child up and took him over to a bucket of water in the main chambers.

"Don't worry Merlin. It was just a bad dream. You are safe here. I will not tell anyone about your magic. It will all be ok, I promise. Here, why don't you clean yourself up and I will sort your bed out." Merlin's breath hitched as he nodded and began to wash himself, Gaius removing his bedding and changing it. Merlin changed into a clean nightwear and looked at Gaius, flushing scarlet.

"Sorry." Merlin mumbled so quietly that Gaius barely heard him.

"Don't worry my boy. Let's get you back to bed." Merlin looked fearfully back at his room, he didn't want to sleep again in-case he had another bad dream.

"C-can I sleep with you tonight? Please!" Gaius uncertainly nodded, it may be improper but the child needed comfort and he wouldn't deny Merlin anything.

"Come on then." Gaius climbed into bed first and Merlin snuggled in next to him. Gaius wrapped an arm around the child and soon felt his breathing even out and deepen. He watched Merlin sleep for a while before eventually dozing off himself. Merlin did not wake again that night, although Gaius heard him mumbling fearfully and tossing and turning on occasion. Each time this happened he rubbed the child's back and the boy calmed, seemingly sensing that someone was looking out for him, even in his sleep.

The next morning both Gaius and Merlin were woken by loud knocking at the door. It was Gwen.

"Gaius, Gaius quick, the scouts arrived back, Cenred's army are just an hour away. We need to get you to the hall, we are going to tend casualties there. Arthur ordered for Merlin to be taken to his chambers, he should be safe there and will be guarded." Gaius wondered for a moment why the prince was going to special lengths to help Merlin, but was immensely grateful and did not question it. Merlin's eyes were wide as he remembered the events at Ealdor. Gwen noticed his fear and gave him a soft smile.

"Don't worry, you will be safe, we will look after you." Merlin just shook his head.

"But they will kill people. They killed my entire village. I don't want anyone else to die. I don't care if they kill me but I don't want to hear anyone else screaming, I keep hearing it at night and I-I want it all to stop." Gwen scooped up the child; they didn't have much more time.

"It will be ok, Camelot has a strong army. Arthur will make sure that everyone is alright. Everyone won't be killed." Gwen of course knew that there would be numerous casualties but nothing on the scale of Ealdor, Camelot's knights had been trained by Arthur and were the finest in the kingdom. Gwen was about to leave when Gaius held out the toy dragon to the boy.

"Here, this will keep you safe, everything will be alright. I will see you later."

Merlin looked as if he was about to protest and demand to stay with Gaius but before he was given a chance Gwen whisked him out of the door.

Merlin whimpered when he saw everyone running around with swords and maces trying to get prepared for battle. He buried his face in Gwen's chest and soon found himself being placed on a large four poster bed with crimson bedding. Gwen told him to stay there until he was collected later and he nodded obediently. Gwen sighed, he looked so miserable, but this was for the best.

"There are two guards outside your room, they will look after you." Merlin nodded and curled up into a ball on top of the covers.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep, Arthur wont mind if you sleep in his bed for today." Merlin nodded, although he wasn't at all tired. He watched as she left the room and heard the door lock behind her. He was alone again. Merlin stared around the room and spent the next four hours trying to block out the sounds of screaming and battle-cries below him. Flashes of images of Ealdor haunted him but he turned his attention to the dragon, making it swoop around himself and flame imaginary enemies. It made him feel safe if nothing else.

Eventually he heard noises outside of his room, so he climbed out of bed and made his way over to the door hopefully. However, when he heard two cries of pain and two loud thuds he ran back and hid behind the curtain, once again his shoe poked out from his hiding place. The door burst open and three knights entered the room, brandishing swords and looking around.

"Arthur, oh Arthur, Where are you? You can't hide forever. Come out and fight." Merlin realised that the men didn't know he was here but was looking for the prince. He screwed his eyes tight shut and yelped when he felt the curtain being pulled away from him. How had they known where he was? The other day in Morgana's chambers both Morgana and Gwen spent ages trying to find him. He had assumed the same thing would happen in Arthur's.

"What have we here?" One of the knights grabbed Merlin by the ear and pulled him forwards, then brutally pushed him on to the floor.

"Where is the prince?" Merlin shook his head and tried to say something but was hit across the face with the hilt of someone's sword. His cheek stung and he blinked back the tears. He would not show weakness in front of these men. They would not break him.

"I don't know!"

"Don't lie to me boy or I will make you regret the day you were ever born."

"I don't know where he is!" Merlin stuck out his lower lip and scowled at the men. He wasn't lying, besides he wouldn't tell them anything even if he did know.

"Liar!" The man before Merlin hissed and was about to plunge his sword into the child's chest when another knight pushed him aside.

"Don't give up that easily. Call yourself a knight? I think we can have some fun here." The man walked forwards and grabbed Merlin by the scruff of the neck, pulling him up only to throw him against a wall. Merlin's vision blurred and when he turned around it took him a while to recognise his attacker.

"You!" Merlin howled at the man and began to scream insults at him, attacking him with all of his might. "You killed my Mummy. I will kill you!" The knight just burst out laughing and spoke in a calm yet menacing tone.

"I thought I recognised you, you are that brat from the forest. I still don't know how you got away but you will not be so lucky this time. I think we will take you with us and I will teach you what happens when you are a bad boy. GRAB HIM." Merlin had made a run for the door, but one of the knights easily caught up with him. He saw the flash of a black cloak and before everything went dark he had one last comforting thought, Arthur and the knights would save him.

The toy dragon, which was meant to protect him from danger, fell from his limp grasp as the knight carried him out of Arthur's chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :D


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin regained consciousness and found that he had been thrown over the shoulder of one of the knights. He stared around and realised that he must have only been unconscious for a few minutes, he was still within the walls of Camelot, heading towards the gates. He began to wriggle within the knights grasp, his legs and hands had been bound so he could not kick or hit the man, just wriggle uselessly.

He saw flashes of swords all around him, a mixture of black and crimson littering the floor. For one moment Merlin was sure that he had seen Arthur's blonde locks and tried to scream his name, but he had been gagged and no one would have heard him over the uproar. Waves of fear crashed over him. Nobody knew that he was in trouble; the bad knight would take him away and kill him. Merlin redoubled his efforts to escape and the knight, clearly fed-up of him wriggling, threw him to the ground and hit him hard across the head with the hilt of his sword, causing Merlin to immediately lose consciousness.

The next time that Merlin awoke he found himself in the middle of a forest. He blinked blearily, black spots impairing his vision. He attempted to get up but noticed that he had been bound to what he assumed was a tree. Merlin began to struggle again, his breathing constricted by the cloth in his mouth. One of the knights saw that he was awake and nudged the man who appeared to be dominant in the group, the one who had killed Merlin's mother. The knights walked up to the boy and pulled out his sword, bringing it down towards the terrified boy. Merlin screwed his eyes shut, this was it, he was going to die. A few moments later he re-opened his eyes confused, there had been no pain and he could move his arms. He saw that the man had not intended to kill him, but to release him from his bonds. Staring up at the man confused, Merlin realised that maybe it would have been better if the knight had just killed him. There was a menacing look in the knight's eyes and Merlin was sure that he would soon be back in a world of pain. The knight lent forward and removed Merlin's gag before speaking in a dangerous voice.

"Well, our sleeping beauty has awakened. Now, we can either do this the easy way, or the hard way. I suggest that you chose the first option." Merlin just scowled.

"I will not help you."

"Oh, fighting talk, this will be fun. I will delight in making you scream. I really think that you will help me, whether you want to or not. Let us start with an easy question. Where is Arthur Pendragon?"

"I already told you, I don't know." Merlin spoke loudly in a clear, confident voice, hoping that he was managing to hide his fear. The sword came crashing down and created a shallow gash on his chest. Merlin bit down on his lip hard but refused to make a sound, he would not give them the satisfaction.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know!" This time the gash was deeper and Merlin bit back a scream. He would not cry. He would not show weakness. The knight continued to ask the same question and when the seventh lash came Merlin finally let out a piteous whimper, sounding like a wounded animal. A single tear ran down his face but he refused to say anything, wiping it away brusquely.

"If you just tell me, I will make the pain stop. You don't want to carry on like this do you?" Merlin ignored the man and hissed when the blade cut deeper than ever. Oh god, he just wanted it to stop.

"I will not help you."

"Fine, how about a different question? What do you know about the prince's character? What are his weaknesses? How can we use his relationship with his father against him? How can we get under his skin?" Merlin ignored the questions, shaking his head stubbornly. He repeated his mantra.

"I will not help you." This time the blade travelled from his collarbone down to his hip and Merlin screamed in agony.

"I told you I would make you scream."

"Please stop. Please." Merlin hated himself for begging but the pain was just too much. The knight just laughed.

"I will stop; you just have to tell me what I want to know." Merlin groaned, he knew the answers to the questions, he had realised Arthur's weakness. Love. Arthur was a kind and gentle man, even if he would not show it. Merlin too had this weakness, he knew that it would lead them both to getting hurt but he also knew that life would not be worth living without it.

"I will not help you. Besides, even if I told you Arthur's weakness you could not possibly understand it. His greatest weakness is his greatest strength. You are a coward; you could never harm Arthur Pendragon. He is worth a thousand of you." Merlin plucked up the last of his courage and spat at the knight, gaining in return a deep gash on the cheek which caused his vision to blur. He tried to pull away, to escape the pain but he couldn't move.  
Merlin searched within himself for his magic, he could feel it simmering beneath his veins but it was unreachable, taunting him. He didn't know how to summon or control it. Merlin let out a howl of pain and frustration when the blade cut through his chest again, and when he looked down he saw that his chest was caked with blood. Nausea rolled over him and Merlin gagged at the sight of his own ripped flesh.

"Tell me!"

"I will not help you."

Merlin closed his eyes waiting for the final blow but instead heard two cries of pain. He didn't dare to open his eyes when he heard the clashing of metal on metal. He heard another thud and felt arms wrap around his waist. Merlin felt sick and peeled his eyes open, wondering what was going on. 

"Arthur?" His voice was incredibly weak and feeble but a smile played across the child's lips.

"I knew you wouldn't leave me!" Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur, who felt warm, viscous liquid soaking into his shirt. He placed Merlin back on the floor and pressed a hand to the boy's tattered shirt, when he drew back his hand was covered in crimson blood. He inhaled sharply and pulled off his cloak, wrapping it around the child to try and stem the flow. He also took off Merlin's neckerchief and began to wipe away the blood on his face. Merlin buried his face into Arthur's armor and tried to relax.  
"Come on; the battle is over, we won. Let's get you out of here." Merlin didn't seem to have heard him, his head lolling to the side and his eyes unfocused. Regardless, Arthur picked him up, with one hand under Merlin's bent knees and one under his back, being careful not to knock his chest of face.

"Sire, is the child alright?" Gwaine stepped forwards nervously, holding a skein of water. Arthur just shook his head sadly and watched as Gwaine pressed the skein to Merlin's lips. He saw the child swallow greedily and felt slightly better; at least he wouldn't die of dehydration now.

"Is everyone alright?" Merlin's voice sounded slightly stronger now.

"Everyone is fine; Gaius is at home waiting for you."

"What about Gwen and Morgana?"

"They are fine as well. Camelot is safe and Cenred has been killed." Merlin nodded and then groaned slightly.

"Sick…" That was all the warning Arthur needed, he quickly went over to a tree and placed Merlin on his feet, holding the boy up as he was sick.

"I don't feel very well. My tummy hurts." Arthur stroked the child's back and Gwaine gave him some more water.

"Gaius will make it all better, I promise." Merlin nodded and Arthur took this as permission to carry him again. He gently lifted Merlin onto his horse and then climbed up behind the boy, wrapping a protective arm around him and trying to ignore the blood seeping onto his hand.

"How did you find me?"

"I heard that you had been taken away after we checked my chambers for you and found them empty. We then followed the trail and heard you refusing to answer those men. I am sorry you had to go through that Merlin. What did they want?"

"They kept asking me where you were and asked me what your weakness was, but I didn't answer, I promise!"

"You are very brave Merlin, not many grown men can stand up against that amount of pain. I am very proud of you, my little warrior." Merlin grinned at the praise and allowed himself to fall asleep in Arthur's arms.

Merlin was awoken from his slumber just minutes later when he heard angry yells and the sound of fighting again. He didn't understand what was happening, the two bad men were dead, and then Merlin remembered that there were three, he never saw what had happened to the third knight who had been beating him. When he turned he saw that the knight intent of ending his life was fiercely battling Arthur.  
Both Gwaine and Percival had been knocked to the ground and were too far away to help. Arthur lashed out and was fighting gallantly but the other knight was far larger and stronger than he was.

Merlin watched in horror as Arthur was knocked to the floor and before he knew what was happening he felt magic surge out of his body. The knight was flung away from Arthur and flew halfway across the clearing, landing with a thud against a rock. Merlin saw the man begin to writhe and then fall still, blood seeping from a deep wound in his head. Merlin had killed him. Before in Arthur's chambers when he had said he would kill the knight in revenge for his mother he didn't believe his statement for one second. He stared down at his hands in a mixture of horror and awe and leant heavily against a nearby tree and almost collapsed. He had used up the last of his strength and his legs were no longer strong enough to hold him.

"You are a sorcerer. You have magic." Arthur's cold voice caught Merlin's attention and he looked up fearfully, realising the implications of what had just happened.

"Arthur-I-I can explain. I-"

"I don't want to hear it! Get out of my sight." Merlin flinched and felt tears burning in his eyes. He knew that he had killed someone, but he had done it to save Arthur. Surely that made his actions more acceptable?

"Arthur, please." Arthur turned away from the boy and began to mount his horse.

"Sire, I know it is not my place but-"

"Silence Gwaine, I do not want to hear it!" Gwaine closed his mouth and scowled, for a second he considered staying silent, but it took more than that to shut him up.

"Look princess, you can see that the child needs help. He did just save your damn life…"

"Gwaine I am warning you!" Gwaine sighed and took one last look at Merlin, who had hidden his face in his arms and was sobbing, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe in enough oxygen. He then mounted his own horse, his heart heavy with regret.

"Don't leave him Arthur." Both knights whipped around in surprise. Percival rarely spoke, let alone out of term, he was known for his brawn, not his brains.

"He saved you... The least you can do is help him out... He is just a child… You are a good man, show it." Each sentence was spoken uncertainly and was punctuated by a long pause, but was said with a great deal of conviction, each being carefully chosen.

"He is a sorcerer. Magic is evil." Arthur spoke simply, the mantra that his father had enforced into him ever since he was a child. 

Percival bit his lip, he had said his piece, but Gwaine on the other hand decided to have a second attempt.

"No. Can't you see? This boy is of no danger to us. He saved your life, and this is how you repay him? If he wanted to kill us, he could have done so ages ago. He means us no harm. It is not magic that is evil; it is the perpetrator who is evil at times, but clearly not in all cases. Merlin is just a child; you can't tell me that you truly believe he is evil. Look at him, he is bleeding to death. Do you want his blood on your conscience?"

Arthur battled with himself, Gwaine was speaking what was undeniably the truth, but what about everything he had been taught? Magic being prosecuted lay at the heart of Camelot, think of everything his father worked for, if he helped Merlin he would undermine all of his father's work. Arthur placed his blood-soaked hand to his head and began to rub his temple. For once he did not know what to do. He looked over at the child who had slumped down even further against the tree and who only just seemed to be clinging on to consciousness.

Arthur didn't know quite how he made up his mind, or whether he had made the right decision, but he found himself picking up Merlin and looking him in the eye.

"Merlin?" Merlin looked up at the prince his vision foggy. He flinched slightly, wondering whether the prince was going to run him through, but was taken by surprise when Arthur pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Don't prove me wrong. Show me that magic is not always evil. If I ever find you harming any of my people I will have you burnt." Merlin winced at the cruel words but hugged Arthur back.

"I won't. I, I don't think I am evil. I only wanted to help you."

"I know." Arthur didn't know what else to say, so he kissed the child gently on the forehead, damn his emotions, why was he feeling so guilty about being harsh with the child?

"It will be ok. You can trust me, I won't hurt you." Arthur hated showing weakness but felt better after trying to make amends. Merlin smiled up at him and squeezed Arthur tighter.

"I know you won't hurt me. You are a kind and good person. Can we still be friends?"

"Yes, yes we can." Merlin grinned, only for his expression to change rapidly to one of pain. He put his hand to his chest and felt himself loose consciousness and fall into a dead faint. Arthur lunged forward, catching the boy and placing him back on the horse. Merlin had lost far too much blood and desperately needed treating.

Arthur sincerely hoped that everything would turn out well for them both. Gwaine and Percival exchanged looks but did not comment, glad that Arthur had finally seen sense.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your reviews and kudos, they mean the world to me :D
> 
> Have some fluff :)

The journey back to Camelot seemed to take five times longer than normal, Arthur was aware of each bump on the uneven ground jostling the boy's wounds. Merlin kept drifting in and out of consciousness, letting out sharp cries of pain whenever his chest was knocked. Arthur wished that he could just take the child's pain away.

Merlin was back to unconsciousness when the small party reached Camelot and he failed to stir when Percival carried him over to Gaius' chambers.

When he awoke, Merlin found himself in a familiar room with five concerned faces hovering over him. The pain in his chest felt like fire, his head was throbbing continuously and he felt weak and woozy. He sat up as best as he could, propping himself up on one arm and hugging Gaius tight with the other, he was just glad to be back and ignored the pain as best as he could.

"Thank goodness you are alright Merlin! You gave us all quite a fright." Gaius looked close to tears as he hugged the child tightly. Merlin shifted slightly, his chest was rubbing against Gaius' cloak and it hurt, although he did not have the energy to pull back. Gaius realised this and backed away, gently laying Merlin back down. The child looked up from Gaius to Arthur, a puzzled and pained expression on his face.

"Don't worry. We all know now, we aren't going to hurt you and we are not angry. From what I heard you were very brave, you never cease to make me proud." Merlin looked slightly confused at the word 'cease,' having never heard it before but he nodded, accepting the compliment gratefully. Gaius cupped Merlin's cheek in his own hand and watched as Merlin leant into the touch, seeking whatever comfort he could find. Gaius trailed his fingers through the child's sweat and dirt-matted hair and allowed relief to flood over him.

Merlin then turned his attention to Gwen, who was gently mopping a trail of blood from his forehead. She gave him a warm smile, which didn't quite cover up her concern. Merlin reciprocated happily. He had finally found his home, everyone in this room accepted him for who he was, which filled Merlin with delight. 

Gwaine, Percival and Arthur watched as the child wriggled, trying to get comfortable.

Merlin was deathly pale and seemed to have lost what little energy he had. His breathing deepened as he fell fast asleep and Gaius began to probe at the chest wounds that he had not yet had time to tend to. Merlin whimpered softly and rolled in his sleep but much to Gaius' relief he stayed asleep. He quietly began to set to work, Gwaine and Percival excusing themselves. They had both seen their fair share of bloodshed but the sight of the boy's ripped skin made them both feel queasy. Gwen continued to treat his face, cautiously applying pressure to the deepest wound on his cheek whilst wiping the blood away from the more minor cuts. Gaius stitched the boy's chest wounds up, pausing every time the child exhaled sharply or let out a muffled cry of pain in his sleep. Once he had done this he removed Gwen's hand from the cut on his cheek and began to examine it.

This was by far the deepest wound and Gaius realised with a sigh that it would scar badly, and that there was nothing he could do about it. Now the innocent child would have a blemish across both his forehead and cheek. What right did those men have to maim his angelic features and to destroy his innocence? Gaius seethed as he began to stitch up the wound.

Arthur who had been watching silently the whole time took the child's hand in his own. How had he even considered leaving Merlin to die in that forest? Arthur felt terrible and swore to himself that he would make it up to the child in any way possible. He decided that he would start immediately and asked Gaius whether there was anything he could do. Surprised Gaius pointed to a bowl of thick ointment and instructed the prince apply it generously to all of the cuts. Arthur obeyed immediately and began to dab on the ointment, flinching when he felt how cold the child was. He made a mental not to get a servant to deliver more blankets.

Once they were all done Gaius bandaged Merlin up, Arthur lifting and supporting him when necessary. Merlin slept through the entire ordeal and when he woke up late the next morning he sat up and ran a hand along his bandaged chest, looking around for something to do. He eventually settled on playing with his dragon, which someone must have found and dropped off for him. Merlin smiled gratefully and began to relax; he was covered in blankets and felt vaguely safe, cocooned in his bed. A loud noise caused Merlin to shriek in fright and he stumbled backwards off of the bed, taking the pile of blankets with him which thankfully cushioned his fall. Merlin stared up wide-eyed, his breathing rapid, had more of Cenred's men found him?

Gaius opened the door to Merlin's room after hearing a shriek of fear; he hurried in and saw the boy on the floor hyperventilating. He quickly went over to the boy and untangled him, rubbing his back and instructing the child to breathe deeply. When Merlin finally managed to slow his breathing he looked up at Gaius with tears in his eyes.

"Merlin, what happened?"

"I heard a loud noise and I thought- I thought…" Gaius sighed; he had dropped a pile of books by accident and had clearly startled his ward.

"That was just me, I dropped some books which I got out for you. You are safe here, remember?" Merlin nodded and stood up unsteadily, gratefully accepting the supportive hand that Gaius offered him. Once he had settled back onto the bed he took his toy dragon and fiddled with it, head staring down at his lap. Gaius saw that the child was miserable so sat down next to him.

"It's alright. I know that a lot has happened but you will pull through, I promise." Merlin nodded stiffly.

"What books were you getting down for me?" Merlin tried to look interested but did not quite pull it off.

"Well, I have some books on the old religion, but no-one can see them apart from you, Gwaine, Gwen, Percival and Arthur." Merlin nodded excitedly.

"Can I see them now? I want to do something!"

"Not today, you need some rest. Tomorrow."

"But I'm bored!" Merlin grumbled softly.

"Well shall we find something to do that is less strenuous?" Merlin agreed, still pouting slightly. His sullen expression made Gaius smile to himself; the boy was just too cute.

"How about a picnic?" Merlin finally broke into a smile at this suggestion and he jumped out of bed.

"Really, that sounds fun. Can Gwen, Morgana and Arthur come?" Gaius looked slightly uncertain, he was sure that they were all busy but promised Merlin that he would ask. An hour later the five of them met at Gaius' chambers, laden with baskets of food...far too much for them really. They all did have other things to do, but dropped everything immediately, Merlin was more important at the moment, everything else could wait. The adults had all wanted to treat Merlin so had picked out their personal favourites and of course Arthur ordered all of the best items from the kitchens.

Arthur ended up carrying Merlin half of the way, the boy had stubbornly insisted that he was fine and could manage but after the third time of him falling to the ground, limbs sprawling in all directions, Arthur decided to take matters into his own hands. The child barely weighed anything and Arthur was glad that he had gone all out with the treats. 

They eventually settled in the shade of a tree and opened the food packages. Merlin stared at the food, mouth open in amazement. There was rabbit!!! Gwen had also bought some fruit with her; five apples which they all ate delightedly, except for Arthur who had apples so often that he gave his to Merlin, the child would enjoy it far more.

Instead of resting Merlin ended up having a pretend sword fight with Arthur and climbed numerous trees in order to escape Gwen and Morgana when they played tag, much to Gaius' disapproval. Merlin eventually jumped down from one tree, having decided that he had won the game and regretted his movement, gasping in pain and falling to his knees, doubled over. Gaius hurried over and quickly checked that Merlin had not begun to bleed again, thanking the stars when he realised that the child was still in one piece. Merlin sprung back up again, slightly unsteady and went over to Arthur, beginning another swordfight. Out of courtesy Arthur let the child win and he smiled at Morgana, Gwen and Gaius who were all cheering Merlin on.

As for this being a less strenuous option, Gaius thought sullenly, he should have just let Merlin read the spell books.

At the end of their 'battle' Arthur picked up Merlin, who was now half asleep on his feet and began to carry the boy back to Gaius' chambers, ignoring the child's protests that he was not that tired. By the time they were halfway back Merlin was snoring quietly, his head resting in the crook of Arthur's neck. Morgana and Gwen went back to the castle and Arthur settled Merlin back into bed, spending a while watching him sleep peacefully.

Concerned, Arthur asked whether the child was healing alright, he seemed to be loosing energy very quickly. Gaius said that Merlin would be back to full strength soon, but was still healing and tired from all his ordeals. They parted with a friendly nod and Gaius sat down in his chair, relishing in the moment of peace. He was sure that now he had taken on Merlin he would rarely get a quiet moment to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have added two chapters today as I am going away this weekend - make sure you read chapter 11 as well as this one :D

Merlin woke up early the next morning, wide awake, and immediately sprung up, got dressed and searched for something to do. Gaius was still fast asleep and he was bored out of his mind. He found some spare parchment and began to draw Gaius' prone figure, jumping back and almost falling off his chair when Gaius stirred and looked straight at him.

"Sorry, I was – I- I was just drawing!" Gaius rubbed his eyes blearily and saw the panicked look in Merlin's face at being caught in Gaius' room without permission.

"It's fine, don't worry. You should have woken me if you were bored." Merlin shook his head slightly.

"You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you up." Gaius smiled at the child's consideration and got up, giving him a loose hug so as not to hurt him. The cut in his cheek looked rather inflamed and Merlin kept bringing his hand up to it subconsciously, the throbbing was driving him mad.

"Is your cheek hurting?" Gaius went into the main chambers and grabbed some ointments when he saw Merlin's nod of confirmation. Gaius sat Merlin down by the table and gently dabbed on the paste, trying to ignore the clenches in his heart that the boy's pained expression caused him to have. Merlin worried his lip, peeling off a few layers of skin in an attempt not to cry out; he could feel his eyes watering but tried to hold back his tears.

Gaius could tell that the wound was slightly infected but decided not to inform the boy and worry him, he would just have to keep a close eye on the cut. Once he was done Merlin let out a small sigh of relief and hugged Gaius weakly, the pain was beginning to ebb away much to his relief.

"So then my boy, are you going to show me your drawing?" Merlin looked slightly embarrassed but held out the parchment he was still holding. Gaius was amazed at the boy's skill, his own face was looking straight back at him and it took him a moment to convince himself that it was not a black and white mirror image.

"This is really good! Where did you learn to draw like that?" Merlin shrugged and twiddled his thumbs, facing his lap.

"Mummy taught me." Merlin looked so miserable that Gaius just wanted to take away all his pain, despite any consequences, but of course he couldn't. The old man looked around for something to cheer Merlin up with and focused on the pile of books on the table. He stood up and walked over, picking them up and handing them to the boy.

"These are the books I told you about, you can learn how to use and control your magic, so that it doesn't just come out in bursts when you are scared or angry." Merlin nodded excited and began to flick through the book immediately.   
He saw a page with a large picture of a vase being levitated and decided to give it a go, the only problem being that there were lots of long words on the page which he could not understand.

"Go on then my boy, read it out loud." Gaius didn't comment when the child began to read slowly, stumbling on almost every word, even simple ones. He helped the boy to sound out some of the longer words and gently squeezed his hand reassuringly, defining words that Merlin did not understand. Merlin was flushed bright red by the time he had finished and he quickly hurried to explain himself.

"I-I can read- It was just- I was a bit nervous." Gaius nodded kindly.

"I know my child, don't worry. Do you think you can give it a go?" Merlin nodded with a small smile, he couldn't wait to learn useful spells.

"What- um – what should I do the s-spell on, I don't want to bray-break anything." Gaius pointed at another book and Merlin nodded, focussing on the book and reading out the spell.

"Orior"* Merlin's eyes changed from blue to a brilliant gold and Gaius stared in amazement as the book rose into the air and hovered there. Merlin looked equally impressed and grinned widely, his eyes flashing gold again as the book floated back down onto the table.

"I did it! It worked!" Gaius beamed, the boy had managed first time and clearly had a lot of power and skill, even if he did not realise it yet. Merlin then flicked through a few more pages until he found a spell which attracts objects towards you. In no time vases, books, vials and quills were whizzing towards them and Merlin was taking great delight in catching them or making them spin around Gaius and himself in a strange, mid-air waltz. Merlin giggled when Gaius flinched back when a pillow almost hit him in the head and carefully set down the objects with another flash of gold. This was fun!

The next spell he tried was a repelling charm, and with a cry of "tergum"* the table was pushed back against the wall with a loud thud. Merlin flinched at the loud noise and buried his head in his hands, trembling softly as flashbacks took over him again. He was being pushed against the tree with a thud. His mother fell to the forest floor with a thud. There were the thuds of the guards collapsing, dead outside Arthur's chambers. Merlin began to cry softly, tears running down his long, bony fingers as he tried to calm down his breathing. Gaius rubbed his back comfortingly, the child flinched, clearly he was still incredibly jumpy and frightened, and all Gaius could do was hope that over time he would relax more. The numerous attacks must have really damaged his mental state and he softly hummed a lullaby until Merlin calmed and buried himself in Gaius' robes.

"S-sorry." Gaius kissed Merlin gently on the forehead and held him at arms length so that he could look the child straight in the eye.

"Merlin, it isn't your fault, but you have to believe me when I say that you are in no danger here. You are safe now, nobody will hurt you. There is no use in jumping at shadows. Your mummy would have wanted you to be happy wouldn't she." Gaius paused as Merlin nodded his head glumly. "Well then, you should try and enjoy yourself and relax, I will look after you. You don't have to be afraid anymore." Merlin nodded again, not yet trusting his voice.

"Why don't you try a different one? The last spell worked fine." Merlin nodded and buried his face in the book, eventually finding a really cool spell. "Verto."* Without warning the piece of rope on Gaius' table turned into a long, green, scaled snake. Merlin grinned and picked up the animal, which poked its tongue out and coiled around Merlin's skinny wrists. Gaius had jumped back in surprise, holding the pillow which had almost hit him earlier in front of him as if it were a shield.

"Merlin!" Gaius quickly admonished the boy, edging around the table so that he was as far away from the snake as possible, whilst still keeping the child in sight.

"Merlin, put that snake down! It might be dangerous." Merlin ignored the last comment; the snake had slithered further up his arm and was now looking at him through narrow eyes. Merlin stroked its head cheerfully and began to talk to it.

"Hello Mr Snake…hang on, are you a Mr? Oh, sorry, Mrs Snake…What is your name? You don't have one? How about Gertrude?" The snake hissed every time Merlin paused or asked a question and Gaius found himself wondering whether the child and snake could really understand each other. He mentally shook himself, of course they couldn't, that is impossible. Merlin continued to converse with the snake and looked up at Gaius.

"Gertrude is hungry, do you have anything she can eat?" Gaius stared at the boy in disbelief, found some leftover beef and tossed it to the child, unwilling to come any closer to the snake. The child picked up the meat and hand-fed it to Gertrude, not noticing Gaius' flinch with worry.

"Can I keep her?"

"W-What?" It was Gaius's turn to stumble and stutter.

"Please!"

"Merlin, that isn't even a real snake, it is a piece of rope!"

"She, Gertrude is not a-an it. And she is to real, look she eats and hisses and everything. Pleeeeeease?" Gaius sighed and nodded grudgingly.

"Fine, but she stays in your room, and you have to look after it-her!" Merlin nodded, grinning and allowed the snake to slither in between his fingers, onto his lap and coil up there.

"She won't be any trouble, I will look after her." Merlin smiled down at the now sleeping snake and Gaius ran a hand through his white hair, goodness, looking after Merlin was not going to be plain-sailing, but at least he seemed a lot happier now.

Merlin carefully reached for the spell book, trying not to disturb Gertrude and began to leaf through the pages.

"No more animal spells!"

"Ok." Merlin eventually settled on a fire-making spell and soon flames were roaring in his hand. His eyes flashed gold again and the flames took on the form of a dragon, flying around the room and spitting out sparks. Gaius stared in amazement and couldn't help but smile; Merlin was flushed red with exertion but looked very smug at the same time.

Both man and child jumped when the chamber door opened to reveal Morgana and Arthur. Morgana gaped at the child and dropped the basket which she had been holding. Arthur however smiled in awe; the golden dragon was beautiful and continued to fly around the room, Merlin hadn't been able to banish it in time and he was now looking worriedly at Morgana.

Morgana stared at Arthur, waiting for him to start shouting, to seize the boy and arrest him, but neither of the former happened.

"Arthur, he is using magic!"

Arthur snapped out of his reverie and remembered that Morgana hadn't been told about Merlin's magic.

"I know."

"What do you mean I know? Magic is against the law, why are you just standing there?"

"Merlin saved me with his magic the other day, that is how we escaped. He is not evil and means no harm." Merlin raised his eyebrow the way he had seen Gaius do countless times, he had spotted the irony of Arthur immediately justifying his magic and treating Morgana as if she was heartless, she had reacted much better than Arthur had.

"Oh…" Morgana seemed to be lost for words and bent to pick up the basket.

"We came to bring some food and to give young Merlin some company." Arthur smiled at the boy. "I see you have been practicing your magic." Merlin nodded excitedly.

"Yes, I have b-been doing it for aaaaaaaaageees. I can move objects and make them fly, and I made a snake, and I can make fire and make it make shapes." Merlin looked extremely excited and Arthur couldn't help but be impressed.

"What is your favourite animal Arthur?"

"Well, I guess I like horses." Merlin nodded and the fire dragon in front of him retracted its wings, the body changing shape until there was a golden horse galloping around Arthur's head. Arthur now found himself grinning more than the child.

"Wow!"

"Morgana, what is your favourite animal?"

"Butterflies." Morgana was still too shocked to formulate a proper sentence and the fact that hundreds of tiny, flamed butterflies were fluttering around her head did not help with the matter. One settled on her hand, and instead of being burning hot it was pleasantly warm and caused a pleasant tingling sensation where it settled. She could feel the wings fluttering and gently ran a finger along the butterfly's wing.

"It's beautiful." Morgana smiled and settled down next to Merlin, he clearly meant no harm so she gave him a gentle hug. Merlin allowed the butterflies to fade and vanish into thin air and rested his head against Morgana's shoulder, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair.

They spent the next few hours chatting happily and watching Merlin try out more spells, he changed Arthur's hair purple and back again, brandished a bunch of flowers out of thin air for Morgana and duplicated one of Gaius' glass vials twenty times. That would make up for the one he had knocked over and broken the other day. When Morgana and Arthur finally left Merlin sat cross-legged on the floor playing with Gertrude and his toy dragon. Gertrude was upset that she had been forced to spend most of the day in Merlin's room, Morgana was terrified of the snake and Arthur, despite denying it, was also slightly wary of it. He was not scared though, princes are not scared of snakes, and they most certainly do not scream when snakes crawl onto their laps unexpectedly.

Gaius applied more ointment to the boy's cheek and they spent the rest of the evening in companionable silence, Merlin playing and Gaius creating some sleeping drafts. When they both went to bed they felt quietly confident that things were looking up.

*Rise  
*Back  
*Transform

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all of your lovely comments and kudos!

Merlin awoke with a cry, more nightmares tormenting him, and when he looked out of the window he saw that it was still dark, probably around 4 O'clock. Unable to get back to sleep, Merlin got up, dressed himself and started singing to himself In no time he had made his bed, tidied his room and started cleaning and organsing Gaius's main chambers. 

After an hour he had lined up all of the vials, dusted the shelves and bookcases, placed books on shelves, watered the herbs and he was in the middle of sweeping the floor when Gaius finally hobbled out of his room. The old man stared in disbelief at his chambers, he didn't think they had been that neat and organised in at least twenty years. Merlin whipped around when Gaius placed a hand on his shoulder and immediately hunched over in a defensive position, only uncurling when he saw it was Gaius.

"Morning, did you clean up all by yourself?" Merlin nodded proudly and gave Gaius a swift hug, his frail body pressed tightly into the old man's.

"When did you wake up?" Gaius looked at the bags under the child's eyes concerned.

"Ages ago." Merlin sighed, not really wanting to elaborate.

"Aren't you tired?"

"A bit…" Merlin yawned softly and rested his head on Gaius' chest for a while, swaying slightly on his feet.

"Why didn't you sleep?" Gaius already knew the answer but he thought it would be best if he allowed the child to explain himself.

"I kept having bad dreams." Merlin mumbled into Gaius' robes and the man felt a pang in his heart, there was nothing much he could do to help.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Merlin shook his head in response and Gaius accepted this, running his hand through the child's hair and rubbing his back comfortingly.

"Alright my boy, if you ever want to talk I will always be here for you." Merlin pulled back and scowled at those words.

"No you won't. T-that's what mummy said and then she left me! Don't lie to me!" Merlin burst into tears and ran back into his room, cocooning himself in blankets and burying his head under his pillow. Gaius cautiously peeked through the door and saw that Merlin was sobbing broken-heartedly, he couldn't actually see the boy but the mound of blankets was rising and falling rapidly and he could hear gasping, hitching breaths. He walked over, ensuring his footsteps were loud so that he didn't startle the boy, and sat on the bed. Merlin pulled away slightly and sniffed. Gaius gently pulled back some of the covers, laid down next to the child and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, ignoring the mumbled protest. He took the child's hand and smiled when Merlin clung onto him tightly. Merlin finally allowed Gaius' comforting words to reach him and buried his face in Gaius' chest, feeling embarrassed and ashamed for reacting so badly.

Soon Merlin found himself drifting off to sleep, but Gaius did not pull away, he simply laid there pondering the child. Merlin was clearly very complex in his emotions. One moment he was bubbly and fun, the next he was terrified, jumpy and anxious and then he would completely shut himself off in his sorrow and would break down. Gaius had hoped that he would have fewer episodes by now and sighed when he realised that this outburst was completely his fault, of course it was ridiculous to make such promises to a child who has been lied to and who has lost everything.

Merlin began to snore softly, his limbs limp and his chest rising and falling steadily. Gaius continued to rub his back and allowed himself to drift off to sleep as well, stirring when he felt Merlin begin to thrash weakly. His breath was hitching and wild and he had begun to mumble in fright. Gaius immediately sat up and gently cupped the boy's face, his hand on the child's good cheek. He spoke to the child softly and when Merlin woke he shushed him, told him to go back to sleep and that it was only a bad dream. Merlin seemed to relax slightly and his breathing soon evened out, his face becoming peaceful again as he fell back asleep.

Gaius left the room quietly and set about making some new ointments only looking up hours later when he heard Merlin shuffle into the room.

"Do you feel better now?" Merlin nodded and made his way over to Gaius, hugging him and apologising for being so rude.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said that, y-you were just being nice. I just-" Gaius cut Merlin off and kissed his forehead gently.

"It was my fault, don't you worry about it. Now, how about something to eat?" Merlin nodded and accepted his breakfast, wolfing it down and then cleaning up after himself. Gaius applied more ointment to Merlin's cheek, smiled at him gently and returned back to his work.

"Gaius?"

"Yes my boy?"

"Can I go out for a walk?" Gaius looked slightly uncertain but eventually nodded.

"You may, but make sure to be back by seven, and don't get into any trouble." Merlin nodded happily, pulled on his socks and shoes and headed out of the door. He didn't really know where he was going but soon bumped into Gwen, who gave him a cheery wave. Merlin went up to her and took some of the linens she was holding, offering to help her. They made their way up to Morgana's chambers, Gwen not commenting on how slowly the child was walking or when he had to stop and catch his breath. The chatted softly about what they were going to do that day, Merlin telling her about his new pet snake and how he wanted to go and see Arthur. When Morgana opened her door she broke out into a dazzling smile when she saw Gwen had bought Merlin with her.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you today?"

"Good, I came to help Gwen and you!"

"Well thank you very much. Do you know how to play chess?" Merlin shook his head so Morgana quickly explained the rules, taking the black pieces and giving Merlin the white ones. Merlin lost the first two games but on the third he fully understood all the moves and beat Morgana with ease. Morgana grinned at this and Gwen watched them play, smiling. Merlin really was a little ray on sunshine and everyone who met him couldn't help but fall in love with his gentle manner and innocence. She eventually excused herself in order to go to the kitchens and left them both to it.

Merlin and Morgana continued to play, until there was a loud thunderclap outside. Merlin jumped violently and stared around wildly, terrified by the loud noise. However it was not his reaction that was shocking or unexpected.

Morgana had let out a high-pitched scream and in that moment a blast of energy filled the room, extinguishing all of the candles and sending the chess board flying. Merlin, who had fallen to the floor looked up in shock, Morgana had magic? That was the only explanation. His body didn't seem to be listening to his commands, he could hear Morgana crying softly in fright and wanted to comfort her, tell her that having magic wasn't too bad, but he was shaking so violently and was crying so hard that he was incapable of moving or making a sound. He eventually heard Morgana sniff and walk over to him, and felt slender arms wrap around him, Morgana's hair tickling his neck.

"M-Merlin. Did you make the candles go out?"

"N-no, I-if you don't mind me saying, I-I think it was…I think it was you." Morgana looked down at her hands in shock; she was trembling and wondered what she was going to do. Merlin hugged her tightly, ignoring the pain in his chest and began to try and comfort her.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. It is ok, m-magic is not bad, Gaius told me so. Arthur won't mind, he still likes me and he will still like you too."

"What am I going to do?"

"Um. I guess you should tell Arthur."

"Uther will kill me!"

"No he won't. You are his…ward and he loves you. He will understand." Morgana shook her head.

"No, he hates magic. He will kill me; he will kill both of us if he finds out." Morgana was now becoming hysterical, sobbing softly and Merlin rubbed her back in the same way that Gaius did for him. When she eventually stopped crying, Morgana stood up, brushed herself down and began to feverishly pace her chambers. Merlin watched her for a while before walking over and taking her hand.

"He doesn't have to f-find out. You can keep it a secret like me. We can look after each other, t-that is what friends do!" Morgana stared into Merlin's piercing blue eyes and smiled despite herself, maybe he was right. Maybe they could both keep their magic hidden. Besides, Uther would not be around forever and Arthur was beginning to accept magic. When he was king she would be able to live without fear. Until then she would have to carry on keeping it a secret. She carefully began to pick up the chess pieces, set them back up and re-lit the candles before sitting back down with Merlin.

"This will be our little secret, I will tell Arthur, Gwen and Gaius but no-one else. Do you think you can stick to that?" Merlin nodded and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Can we go and see Arthur now? I wanted to see him fighting." Morgana smiled at the child and nodded, taking his small hand in hers and feeling a connection, a magical bond which she could no longer fight or ignore. They walked to the training field in companionable silence and soon found Arthur practicing his mace work. Arthur looked up and grinned at the newcomers, taking off his helmet and waving for Sir Gwaine to fight against Percival.

"Hello."

"Hello! We came to see you fight!" Arthur picked up Merlin and swung him around, causing the boy to giggle before setting him down on a tree stump. He ruffled the child's hair before setting off, putting on a bit of a show with the knights, all of whom exaggerated their movements and fell to the floor more often than normal for Merlin's benefit. Merlin sat on the edge of the stump, leaning forward to get a good view. Arthur was an amazing fighter and he couldn't help but be impressed. Once training was over Percival, Gwaine and Arthur came over to him.

"Hello again Merlin" Gwaine grinned at the child, squatting down so that he was at Merlin's eye level.

"Hello Gwaine, I mean Sir Gwaine!"

"Gwaine is fine, so how are you doing?"

"I'm good; you are so cool when you are fighting. I wish I was big and strong like you!"

"Do you want to have a go?" Arthur had moved forwards and offered Merlin his sword, which was blunted so that the knights would not hurt each other during training. Morgana scowled slightly, not thinking that an injured child should be left with a sword but Arthur ignored her glares. 

First, Merlin began to play-fight with Gwaine, delighting in ducking the gentle jabs and jumping up and down excitedly when he managed to poke Gwaine in the chest. Gwaine feigned falling to the floor and cried out that he was mortally wounded, making Morgana, Merlin and Arthur laugh, even Percival smiled softly. Percival then began to play with the child, teaching him how to use a shield properly and a few hours later they had a mini-tournament, which they allowed Merlin to win, of course.

Finally Gwaine and Percival offered to escort an exhausted Merlin home, leaving just Morgana and Arthur alone.

"Arthur, I need to tell you something." Morgana fiddled with a loose thread in the sleeve of her dress and avoided eye-contact.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"The thing is…"

"Tell me you are not pregnant!"

"Arthur, of course I'm not! I-Ihavemagic." Morgana rushed the sentence, still not looking up. Arthur just stared at her blankly.

"What?"

"I have magic."

"What do you mean you have magic?"

"I found out today, I was in my chambers and then there was thunder, and it made me jump and I extinguished all of the candles and knocked over my chess board by accident."

"Oh…"

"Arthur, I don't know what to do. Uther will kill me! I'm scared!" Morgana began to cry and was relieved when Arthur hugged her gently, at least he hadn't freaked out and rejected her.

"He will not find out."

"But…"

"Morgana, you are as good as my sister. I will not let anyone hurt you. I promise."

"Oh Arthur." Morgana was rendered incapable of speech by her cries of relief. When she finally calmed down enough to speak she asked the question on her mind.

"Do you think I am evil?" Arthur laughed.

"Of course you are not evil, except from that time you put a caterpillar on my pillow - that was the work of the devil!" It was Morgana's turn to laugh.

"That was when we were 5, will you ever let it go?"

"No, you scarred me for life! Anyway, on a serious note, I don't think magic is evil, like Gwaine said, some people just use it in the wrong way. You won't will you, you are like Merlin. Both of you are far too lovely to use magic in the wrong way. I trust you. But I still don't think we should tell father."

"I guess it would be best if he didn't find out." Morgana wiped her eyes and smiled at Arthur.

"I thought you would be mad at me. I thought you would hate me!"

"I could never hate you. I love you, like a sister I mean, and I trust you. Everything will be fine." They linked arms and walked back to the castle, Morgana unbelievably thankful that Arthur accepted her magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to let me know what you think, comments are love, comments are life <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the end of this fic has come - thank you all for coming along for the ride! Please don't forget to let me know what you think!
> 
> This piece has a nine chapter sequel, called Carrying On, which I have posted the first chapter of. Updates will then be every day, as of Monday :) I hope that you check it out :D

Gaius and Merlin were sitting cross legged on the floor, Merlin talking animatedly about a frog he had found in the nearby field earlier that day when there was a loud knock at the door. Merlin jumped up and hurried to the door, opening it and smiling uncertainly at the servant who entered.

"Merlin, the king has demanded your presence in court immediately." With that the servant turned and left, leaving Merlin standing stock still with his hand still on the door. Immediately he assumed the worst. Had the king found out about his magic? Had the king found out about Morgana's magic? What if he was going to be tried and executed? Gaius looked slightly shaken and hurried into Merlin's room.

"Here put this on." He handed Merlin his best shirt and a clean pair of trousers. He then dabbed some ointment onto his cheek, pointlessly attempted to flatten his hair and rubbed some mud off his chin. Gaius took the ghostly pale child's hand and led him out of the chambers. Merlin turned back and wondered if this was the last time he would ever walk through that door. He blinked away the tears in his eyes, he did not want to look guilty; that would only aggravate the situation.

In what felt like no time at all he was standing outside the main hall of the castle and was being gently pushed through the heavy wooden doors by Gaius. Merlin's mouth dropped when he saw that the room was full of courtiers, he shuffled into the centre of the room, in front of Uther who was sitting at his throne, and bowed deeply. He was swaying alarmingly and looked close to collapse, visibly flinching and taking a step back when Uther rose from his seat.

"Merlin." It was not a question, it was a statement and Merlin felt a tremor of fear run through his body. He looked around wildly, seeing Arthur and Morgana standing on either side of the king. He tried to catch their attention for reassurance but they both had blank expressions which gave nothing away.

"Y-yes, m-my Lo-, um, your M-Majesty." Merlin felt his eyes well up so he stared down at the floor, which seemed to be rocking backwards and forwards causing him to feel nauseous. Uther looked down at the child who had gone deathly pale and could practically see the terror radiating off of him.

"There is no need to be afraid child, I mean you no harm." Merlin looked up, not believing his ears. No harm? He wiped his eyes weakly and tried to speak, but all that came out was a pitiful whimpering sound. Morgana, who had seen the child suffer enough walked briskly over to Merlin and picked him up, bouncing him up and down in her arms and allowing him to bury his face in her silky hair.

"It's ok Merlin. Uther is not going to hurt you." She whispered softly into his ear and continued to bob him up and down until Merlin's sniffles died down. Merlin hung limp in her arms and found himself wondering what this was all about, he felt better knowing that Uther was not going to hurt him but he was glad that Morgana hadn't put him down, he didn't feel as if he could stand up on his own. Uther cleared his throat loudly, drawing all attention back to himself.

"Merlin, it has come to my attention that you greatly assisted my son in an ambush. I believe that a reward is in order, is there anything you would like?" Merlin was stunned by this turn of events and pondered the question thoughtfully. It took him a while to answer but when he did the entire court smiled at his request.

"I think I have e-everything I want. Thank you though!"

"There must be something else that you want. Money, books, new clothes?" Merlin looked uncertain.

"I-I would love a new book!" Uther sighed and nodded.

"Any books you want will be brought to your chambers. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I-All I want is to stay here with Gaius, Gwen, Morgana and A-I mean Prince Arthur." Uther looked at the child in disbelief, how could he be so selfless, it was clear he lived in poverty and had been through great hardship, why didn't he want food or money?

"Well, Arthur's manservant George might need some help from time to time. Perhaps you could help George with some of his duties." Merlin beamed at the suggestion and looked over at Arthur, who gave him a reassuring smile.

"Yes please! Thank you!" Morgana finally put Merlin down and gave him a small squeeze of the shoulder. Merlin looked over at Gaius and Gwen who were both smiling straight at him and then turned his attention back to the king.

"Very well then. From now on you shall help Arthur with anything he needs. You are dismissed." Merlin bowed again and hurried swiftly over to Gaius who ruffled his hair affectionately and kissed him on the forehead.

"Well done my boy! I am so very proud of you." Merlin flushed slightly and allowed Gwen to take him over to George and Arthur.

"Ah, Merlin. I've got training in fifteen minutes, will you go with George to get my things?" Merlin nodded and smiled at the man who was clearly George. They spent the entire journey to the armory chatting and George found himself thinking that maybe this wouldn't be too bad, Merlin was a good child and would work hard, even if he was overly chatty. Merlin was allowed to take Arthur's shield and sword, much to his delight, whilst George took all of the armor, the mace and Arthur's spare boots. By the time they reached the training field Merlin's arms where aching despite his smaller load and he was grumbling under his breath.

"Why can't he carry his own things? He's is such a clotpole, no a dollophead."

"Don't let Arthur hear you call him that!"

"Fine!" Merlin huffed slightly. However, as soon as he caught sight of Arthur he smiled and ran forward.

"Hello! I have your sword and shield! I carried it all the way!"

"Thank you Merlin." Arthur raised a knowing eyebrow at George, who allowed himself a small smile.

Merlin spent the next hour delighting in watching the knights fight and beamed when afterwards he was allowed to play fight again. When he was accidentally knocked to the ground his face screwed up and Arthur quickly hoisted him up and brushed him down.

"You're fine. There's not even a scratch on you! You are such a girl's petticoat!" Arthur kept his voice light but wondered how Merlin had gotten through all his sever injuries if he couldn't even cope with being knocked over. What Arthur didn't realise however was that Merlin's face was not screwed up with pain but with mirth.

"N-not hurt! You have, have – m-mud on your nose." Merlin was giggling so hard that he could barely form the words and tried desperately to catch his breath, only laughing harder when Arthur tried and failed to rub off the mud, resulting in his nose turning the same crimson as his cloak.

"You could have told me!" Arthur began to tickle Merlin until the boy was on the floor curled up and howling with laughter.

"Clotpole!"

"Idiot!"

~*~x~*~~*~x~*~~*~x~*~

Morgana sat on the window seat and stared down at the training ground where Arthur and Merlin were playing. She found herself pondering her position in Camelot now that she had discovered her magic; maybe magic did have a place in the kingdom. Arthur had certainly accepted Merlin and herself.

Maybe when Uther was gone she would be able to live freely, without fear. When Arthur ruled everything would be perfect, magic would no longer be banished in the kingdom and everyone would live in harmony. But for now she was determined to carry on as she was, hiding her magic until the right moment came along to reveal it. That way nobody would be hurt. Uther would never find out her secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it :D You know what to do if you did ;)
> 
> This piece has a nine chapter sequel, called Carrying On, which I have posted the first chapter of. Updates will then be every day, as of Monday :) I hope that you check it out :D


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